Ohhvi

2012-01-13T00:24:00.000+07:00

shitty day deserves good music at night

Dominant Legs - "Make Time For The Boy" from stereogum on Vimeo.

2012-01-04T22:09:00.000+07:00

A cute gay guyplayed straight on the screen

Got the best smile so far I’ve seen

He writes, plays, directs, and other things in between

Besides all that, he seems very keen

Then this one night I chatted on my slumber

Some time after I watched “What’s Your Number?”

My gay friend poked me with this reminder

Which made me wanna bite Chris Evans’ shoulder

“Do you remember this guy from somewhere?

I’m not sure whether you are aware

But that hot gay took your seats at Q! Film Festival, Iswear

You were pissed but didn’t give him thin air.”

zwarte piet gets his coal from...

2011-12-23T17:49:00.002+07:00

Prabumulih. (maybe)

Prabumulih is a small city, located 30 km from Palembang. To reach Palembang, there's only one main road. Now, if you remember your geography lesson, there are many gas and oil drilling, as well as coal mining in Sumatra. Some of the resources are drilled and mined in the neighboring cities of Prabumulih, e.g: Lahat, Muara Enim, & Ogan Hilir (There is also one interisting city nearby, Sekayu, which is also a title of N.H. Dini’s book -but that’s a different discussion-).

You can find characteristics of sad interaction between globalization and local values here: traditional houses which do not serve their old function anymore, some people still build rumah panggung, but the open air room below the house is longer used to tie up their cattle, instead dedicated for closed rooms. More views: Abandoned rice fields, ruko-ruko with pastel or bright paint, newly built mayor offices among modern yet unmaintained houses, sleek cars collided with becak and ojek strolling in front of the traditional market, no chain restaurant besides CFC, and absolutely nothing is going on after 7 PM - absolutely a killer for an urban girl-.

The people that I met literally said, “We are sorry, there’s no entertainment center here, the city is so small.” They don’t need to be sorry about that. What they have to be sorry about is the number of their main road, connecting Prabumulih to Palembang. They only have ONE main road. The definition of main road here is a road broad enough for two lanes transporting big trucks carrying coal on each side. Kalo di Jakarta kecipratan air pas hujan biasanya dari motor, di Prabumulih kesemburnya dari truk batu bara. Hard core.

Regulation has it that the trucks can only go at night or dawn, but of course regulation goes out of the window, violations happen in daylight and are acceptable. Btw, these truck drivers have to drive about 80 km a day to bring the coal back and forth for Rp. 100.000,00 per return trip (people sipping 50.000 rupiah caramel macchiato, feeling guilty yet?*). There are so many trucks that use the street, in fact those were my main view for the last four days. The main road deteriorates, creates frequent congestion.

South Sumatra government had a plan to make more roads exclusively for the coal trucks, but they postponed it because they prioritized Sea Games. Citizen got mad and protested the government through Facebook (yes, they print Facebook comments on Prabumulih Pos), mass media, and other channels. The once elected governor may not probably be re-elected. His previous campaign program was free education (free basic operational cost, but people still have to pay for some extra cost) for students in elementary school to vocational school. That sounded good, but now, people stuck in traffic for 8 hours for 30 km distance (4 km/hour speed !!), people are mad at him. The only logical reaction, no?

As someone who lives in Jakarta, what makes traffic jam still bearable is because I can meet my friends or family afterwards, sometimes with fun entertainment, lots of choices, lots of channels for expression. In Prabumulih, a city where nothing much happens, major static traffic almost everyday in a week shouldn't be their niche, or entertainment, or however you call it. The question is, does the coal go for Indonesian people? How about the tax from the mining companies? Does the local government distribute the money wisely for their citizen? Because, if the government uses the money wisely how come an 8 hour congestion is a routine?

In short, this post can be summed up to the F word to whoever is responsible for the traffic. I missed my 1 PM flight, and got the only 3 seats left for Palembang-Jakarta route. If I hadn't got the seats, the only seats available were for after Christmas. To see the bright side of this experience, now I understand why "I'll be Home for Christmas" is always on repeat at holiday season.

Now, rewind to my Jakarta-Palembang flight before I stepped on Prabumulih; my seatmates were guys from mining industries, one was a geologist (around 27 year old), the other one was in senior position (in his late thirties). The latter introduced himself to me while I was wearing my headset - how rude and persistent, huh-, asked about my job and salary (Rude, I didn't answer the salary part), and he assumed that my salary was lower than the young geologist's (RUDE!). I was so not impressed by these rich mining people on my plane. He summed up the life of mining company workers: work in remote area, save the money, go to the city, marry the young and beautiful woman (perempuan baik-baik, he literally said), nabung beli rumah, beli mobil, tinggalin anak istri sebulan dua kali ke daerah, pile up more money, give international education for the kids, of course before that buy Porsche baby stroller or The Silver Cross Balmoral Pram for the twins. Basically, this is the new middle class in Indonesia, you can be educated and rich enough, in the meantime being consumptive and being snob about what you do. This may be a behavior generalization, maybe I was just upset how these companies did not do anything (yet) and encourage the government to build more roads and increase the local area's quality. My lil brother studies Geology, he surely will have lots of briefing from me before he launches his oil company snobbish attitude next year.

*I am currently sipping my 20 ml, Rp. 30.000,00 espresso shot with a dallop of frothed milk on top

2011-12-09T22:03:00.001+07:00

She's got the sponsors (magnum ice cream included), she's got the cast (Rio Dewanto, Edward Gunawan... yummers), got pretty cinematography as well, but she didn't write the script well. I got it that Arisan strived for LGBTQ movement, open-mindedness, and in Arisan 2 they stretched it into spirituality (vs religion). I understood that they wanted to show the upper class liberal, intellectual thought. But, Nia Dinata wrapped it in a speech-like, oratorial, non subtle way, I found it difficult to differentiate between what they called "movie" with FPI demos on Q! Film Festival. Because when art is also preachy, why shouldn't I go to Sunday mass instead? Or to upacara bendera?

Btw, although Edward Gunawan (who is also a screenwriter in real life) was not convincing enough playing as a straight guy, you really should check out his short movie, "Just". The movie is written and produced by himself. I think the movie is just beautiful :)

grrrl

2011-11-29T21:09:00.001+07:00

Girls | FOR NO ONE from FOR NO ONE on Vimeo.
See Hannah Hunt with her unworldly beauty in this Girls' video, Honey Bunny. Also, in Ryan lynch's side project, Dominant Legs."Grrrl" playlist on my iPod

the best. review. ever

2011-11-28T23:19:00.001+07:00

ever heard of twilight? the chain that gives vampire a bad name? read the review of its latest sequel here.

"Women want to be eternally worshipped by supernatural forces that fight over them while overdosing on praise from this world and the next. Men just want to get boned by sluts"

2011-11-27T22:25:00.001+07:00

today was lovely, watched movies, played some music, blogged, re-blogged, blog-hopping. tomorrow we shall work to pay for days like today. le sigh.

eating animals

2011-11-27T19:35:00.001+07:00

I have never been a huge (cow, pork, veal) meat eater. When my companion chose veal or rib eye steak, I’d prefer fish or chicken. Meat is hard to chew and personally I think it doesn’t taste as good as what most people say. Maybe this taste culture is because how my family eats. Coming from a near beach area in Flores, dad always, always chooses fish over any meat any time. He says fish is more healthy. I am not saying that this kind of habit is more superior. Sometimes I find him weird, because he would eat green bean porridge with rice. Yes, meshed in one plate. And, if the choices are between stewed carrot and fried fish, he’d go for stewed carrot. Ew!

One day, while waiting for my flight home in Changi, I bought two books: Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Eating Animals” and “The East, The West, and Sex: A History of Sexual Encounters” by Richard Bernstein. The first chapter of the latter book is “The Whole world as the White Man's Brothel. This book is more interesting, I thought. Moreover, there are several girl friends in my mind whom I’d like to discuss the book with (cough, sisie, cough...astrid k...cough). I’m used to pending my gratification for greater good, so I read the (literally) green book first.

Turns out, Foer has been messing up with my mind for the past week. The description is so vulgar and comes from different point of views (including from the owners of factory farmers). I eat animals (meat and fish), I’ve read the book, exposed to the facts and reasoning. It is foolish if you don’t change a bit after you know the facts. They say, you can wake a person up from his sleep with loud voice, but you can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

During the past week, I talked to different people about eating animals, this is what they said:

Me : Poor cow

X : It’s legal and excusable by the bible and quran to kill animals for food

Me : ...(Describing how factory farms operate)

X : It’s in America. In Indonesia, we treat animals better and with less chemical, thus we have thinner birds and cows.

Me : As an animal lover and almost self-acclaimed environmentalist, you should read this book

X (who has four pets) : No no no, please...

Me : Before you eat all that turkeys in thanksgiving, maybe you wanna read this

X : No thanks, I enjoy eating meat too much, I don’t want to ruin my Thanksgiving day.

It is very hard to talk about it. It is easier to talk about feminism or politics to people. Foer says, it requires an elimination of taste memory, then we can constrain ourselves from eating (too much) animals. We defend our pleasure for taste so hard, we close our eyes how painful and cruel the process is for the animals.

Maybe I’m still in euphoric days. But I hope in the future I could care a bit about how things come to my plate. This includes food, clothes, equipments, anything I consume. But, wouldn’t life be hard if you have to think about ALL those things? And once I said, “If you oppose Nike but you’re still smoking near passive smokers, isn’t it contradictive?”

sex trade

2011-09-23T12:35:00.001+07:00

"The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo", firstly read the novel because of its inevitable popularity, especially after the death of its author, Stieg Larsson. God bless his girlfriend and father who disputed Stieg Larsson's fortune. A friend once declined to see the movie because she saw couples of people read the book in the same NYC metro. However, I joined the mass and bought the book. It was such a page turner then I bought the second title "The Girl Who Played with Fire" for my kindle. The second book is about trafficking, and found this quotation very true, on sex trade: "..Nor is there any other form of criminality in which social acceptance is so great, or which society does so little to prevent."

I talked to several guy friends, and some of them admitted they visited Alexis at least once in the last five years (that's what they said). You could also ask your friends, have they used prostitutes, ever, in their life. Add that with what they call "entertaining clients" in business and government deals. Do they use women? There are a big chance that the women are trafficked, because, like what I remember from one seminar, "Nobody wakes up in the morning and decides that they want to be a prostitute."

I believe...

2011-08-26T13:44:00.004+07:00

...that the dots will connect.

java uber alles

2011-07-18T15:00:00.020+07:00

Tamansari

Used to be a waterspring, water surrounded leisure palace for the first Sultan of Jogjakarta. He would sit on top of the tower to see his concubines chat, giggle, having a bath (voyeuristic much?). Sultan used "kenthil" flower to be thrown to one (or two, or three, or more, one will never know) of his mistresses as a cue that she's chosen for that night. The beds, the guide showed, were fixed and built on top of a flowing river, a natural air conditioner. Other beds had fireplace below them to keep the beds warm. Very rustic, Tamansari that you see today is a reconstruction from 1990s, imagination of the real one.

Today's function: tourist attraction, playing field for the local kids, home of the first cyber RT (RT 36 Tamansari) in Indonesia; it has wi-fi for the whole neighborhood, also video clip and pre wedding shooting location (err...among Bondan Prakoso and Darwis Triadi's favorite).

Ullen Sentalu

No doubt, the best museum in Indonesia. Lesson learned: leave museum and its maintenance to private owners. Also, there's a big chance that ladies will have a new hero after visiting Siti Nurul Kusumawardhani a.k.a the Ideal Princess' room.

Taman Pintar

Have you ever cursed the non-existence of public place in Jakarta? Too much malls? You'll curse even more knowing Jogja has Taman Pintar and Bandung has Taman Lalu Lintas.

Beukenhof Restaurant in Ullen Sentalu and Via Via Cafe in Prawirotaman Street (Jogja's Jalan Jaksa)

Sendangsono

According to Santi Nuri, this is where they got high in "3 Hari Untuk Selamanya" (Playing Float on the background).

2011-07-13T11:21:00.002+07:00

Mom said, she almost married another man, and not my father. She would say, "If I had married that man, you wouldn't exist in this world. How would you feel?". How could I feel if I were not born? If I were not born, would I still be exist? It would be funny though if half of my personality from mum comes in the kid she would've had, if she had married that man. And half of my personality is in a waiting room somewhere in the solar system.

2011-05-14T01:05:00.002+07:00

Somebody asked,

"Is it okay to have an affair with a married person as long as his/her spouse doesn’t know?"

I answered,

"Is it okay to corrupt your customers’ money as long as they don’t notice?"

Why do you need other people to perceive something in order to determine the value of your act?

new level of being non-judgmental

2011-04-18T00:20:00.003+07:00

Real life dinner conversation tonight:

Me : She's a lesbian
X : No, she's not
Me : She has a girlfriend
X : For someone who believes in tolerance, you're pretty judgmental
Me : Whaddayamean? That she's experimenting?
X : Of course. You cannot say a girl who has a girlfriend is a lesbian. Because, you'll never know.
Me : Errr...

grey hunts

2011-04-11T12:05:00.006+07:00

Pouring and roaring. The glistening street is now grey and clandestine. It roars in shriek, choked by their asphalt droplets. Demonstration flags are now damp, voices are low and vamped. Yesterday I inhaled black monoxide from an Isuzu Panther. For god’s sake, if you’re rich enough to buy a car, why do you even buy a dirty Panther? Yesterday, I inhaled urine smell. So vaporous it floated. I breathed with heatwaves from bridge to bridge. I listened to tired guitar songs from a daughter in a bus. My eyes were fed with orange peels littered by a man. The country is doomed. It crucifixes our senses with garbage. But then, when you have money, like how I did last night, I inhaled the aroma of frozen irish mochacino with shaved bland chocolate. I fed my ears with beautiful love story from the key-smith man. It was so transcendent, he said, comfort is an understatement. Street as a common product is now stale, air does not do us fair. But stories are told and we absorb, then buds of little joy unfold.

easy, breezy, beachy

2011-03-22T08:33:00.006+07:00

When everything is f***ed up, all I need is good music. Here's my good music, March 2.0.11 version

Dominant Legs - "About My Girl"

Little Joy - "Next Time Around"

Little Joy is Fabrizio Moretti (The Strokes drummer)'s side project together with Los Hermanos singer/guitarist, Rodrigo Amarante, and Binki Shapiro.

March for Women

2011-03-17T00:26:00.008+07:00

I took the pics when I visited Centre Pompidou

Ohhchannel

2011-03-01T00:13:00.009+07:00

I am reading “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac. I bought the Penguin edition because it is cheap. But boy, ain’t that tapestry of roadtrips is too crowded to be squeezed into 200 something pages! Luckily, my determination is sheer because of this muy importante reason: it’s Johnny Depp’s favorite book (or one of). So, I’m pretty curious, what did he see from this book (ahem!).

Memang gw agak telat ya melihat keseksian si Johnny Depp. Masak baru sadarnya tahun 2011, ini gimana sih Ovi? Thanks to The Doors documentary: “When You’re Strange” that made scream (inside the theatre, inside my heart): ‘Yaouwloh, naratornya siapa sih ini? Kok seksi sekali suaranya! Bahkan suaranya bisa ekting.’ Since then (in only two months), I’ve seen almost all Johnny Depp’s movies which I usually avoided in the past.

Back to “On the Road”. The lead character, Sal Paradise decided to go on a roadtrip across America with Dean Moriarty. The reason said Sal, ” …was not only because I was a writer and needed new experiences but because somehow, in spite of differences in character, he reminded me of some long-lost brother.” (quotation from page 13. Ketauan deh bacanya baru dikiitt).

The quotation rings a bell. I have a friend whom I usually see because s/he reminds me of my (for example) ex or someone I like or another friend that I seldom see. So, meeting her/him is not actually to meet that person. Rather, to reminisce other people. Intinya, gak ketemu orangnya gapapa deh yang penting dapet auranya. Kalo kata Jame, seperti menghibur diri dengan orang KW1. Snap!

A concrete example: my non-Chinese girl friend likes to go to North Jakarta to meet her Chinese friends. She enjoys meeting them, but somehow it reminds her of her Chinese gebetan yang tidak mungkin bersatu karena satu dan lain hal (alasan a la Pak Erte).

Do you have that kind of person in your life? Semacam channel atawa penghubung atawa cenayang atawa medium. You meet them because they are simply an extension of the one you actually aim to. This person usually is your mutual friend. Or, are you that person for somebody?

Ini dia biangnya, and it just won an award in Grammy 2011 for the Best Long Form Music Video

Johnny Depp reading Kerouac

Ohhcd

2011-02-28T23:14:00.003+07:00

This is just a mandatory post so my archive will not lose February 2011 in its roll. Yes, I'm a bit obsessive like that.

Sometimes, you wanna throw bules out of this country

2011-01-13T11:58:00.001+07:00

“Indonesian and logic do not correlate.”
“Why you guys pronounce vowels not like us, English speakers?”
“Indonesian girls always keep some pair of shoes under their office desks. Gee.”
“This superstitious thing called kerokan...”
“...and not to mention masuk angin. What incomprehensible crap is that?”
“You are dark, but yours is nice, unlike the negroes. You know, their palms have different color than their hands.”
“She told me that I gain weight yet still shoves me with her experimental cooking. Very Indonesian.”
"Spicy is not a taste. It's a sensation."
“You are exotic.” --> yang ini pengen gw lempar bukunya Edward Said.

character

2011-01-01T15:14:00.003+07:00

“F*ck Valentine’s Day, Happy Chinese New Year” was the reddest sign in the hostel. A lady clad in bubbly thick black winter jacket sat down near a wide window. She sipped the tea out of the white cup. I drank their tea and it was all water, no bold flavor in that pity cup. But, she drank it well maybe because she put some sugar in it. She held a note and a pen, her hair was frizzy, ugly dirty blond updo-ed with black elastic. She looked at me and jotted something down. I glared at her, ‘Lady, what are you doing? Are you describing me and making a character out of me in your horrendous note?’ It was snowing outside and yes, people were attracted to put some black on their white. But, you don’t describe me lady, not with that curious eyes. I am not a character unless I grant you permission. I slurped what’s left in my cereal, made a bit of sound with the bowl and wooden table, and then gave her a hate stare.

Blessings and Shizz, etc.

2010-12-03T00:33:00.002+07:00

Let blessings not be count
Though they come in pieces,
Only to make unevenness round
Be it on a naked man or Saint Mary’s kick
Warm womb or a thrown brick

Let blessings not be count
They’ll shock you bitter otherwise
A grand one astound
With a liquid of despise

Let blessings not be count
You’ll never get the exact amount
Coz shitty scatters like a fount,
You’ll be drown,
And you’ll never be found.

-the roller-coaster year, 2010-

What Do You Do?

2010-11-06T01:28:00.001+07:00

This November, what do you do?

Look back grabbing frozen moments

Stand yellow on red pedestal

Refrain from passing through the red box

cont.

2010-11-06T01:15:00.002+07:00

Blow songs recorded in the wind

My sour bubbles are cancerous yet marvelous

Bloat with soft rainbow balls

Stand on a height filled in my palms

Taste the blue and white cloud swirl

Sail to an island

Where we won’t be carcasses

sonic

2010-10-10T23:27:00.005+07:00

The day when @javierpaloh left SORE. Very unfortunate of course, because I really like his fragile voice that completes SORE's quixotic lyrics and sound.
In this blog post: White Shoes and the Couples Company, Bengbeng and Trisno, PAS Band.

Imogen Heap said, "Mmm what you say?": Democracy in Language

2010-08-31T13:47:00.014+07:00

“Why is American English hard to pronounce? Most language is pronounced as what is verbally stated. But not English, and French,” said an old southerner to me. First, due to their national pride, it is ironic that American English and French have something in common. Second, grammatical rules vary around the world just like how they govern the countries. So, if you mix two languages into one act of speech only bilinguals of those languages will understand your meaning.

You could think in Indonesian and tried to express it in English just like what Putri Indonesia 2010 did. Or, you could think in Indonesian and, being more strategic, uttered it in a mixed speech between English and Sundanese, like what the Director of University of Indonesia did. Or maybe you could mix Betawi language with Indonesian in your thesis, like what Seno Gumira used as an example in his “Bahasa Ilmiah” article, “Menurut pendapat ogut…”

Of course, mixing languages is not a crime; moreover, now multiculturalism is highly accepted around the globe. Pride of originality rises and we all believe that it is our right to use language system as how we want. We, Indonesians, all agree blindly (and have no intention to change it) that the language we use in everydayness differs highly in our writings. The language that Cak Tarno Institute members speak in Barel is different than what they tweet (even twitter is not formal!). The condition is different with English; there is no course for “formal” English and “non-formal” English. When you utter what you learned in English lesson, you won’t look as clueless as a new bule in the J-Town.

Why is it not bothering? Language is what we use every day to communicate (doh!). Because of this dependent interaction between the subject and language, its use is democratic. Really, there is no International Tribunal on language crime; English has different variations: Singlish, Indian-English, American English, Australian English; Javanese has seven formality levels (ngoko, ngoko andhap, madhya, madhyantara, kromo, kromo inggil, bagongan, kedhaton); and even our KBBI (Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia) and other dictionaries keep on changing (and I hate media that uses new technological terms such as tetikus). It is very amazing isn’t it that language has no governmental body yet it strives and blooms based on the convergence of its speakers’ interest without detrimental harm. It’s like the most natural act of democracy, without leaders.

But, is it really without leaders? Like in good governance, limitation to language democracy lies in its harm towards others. And “harm” here means when the meaning is not channeled and its detrimental effects. I personally believe that your flexibility to democratize language depends highly on: your audience, the function of your speech, and who you are (why are you the one who has the right to say that, not others).

First, your audience. When figures as UI Director and Putri Indonesia feel they have the right to modify language (intentionally or not), they have to make sure all of the audience understand their meaning. In the last UI graduation, did all audience understand Sundanese? No. Did all audience understand English? No. And how about a mixed speech of those two? Amazing. In identity level, did all audience want the director to highlight his origin? No. It’s like Batik, kebaya, all Javanese attribute, and Suharto in smaller scale or Soekarno with Peci (inspired by Modern Turkish movement), or generalization to use “Assalamu alaikum” or “Salam Sejahtera” to open all events. When you say those two greetings, automatically there are many religious greetings you do not mention. In this instance itself, we see how tolerance towards your own identity backlashes greater group of people.

Second, function of your speech. Did the UI Director tried to make a joke as anecdote in 2010 graduation speech? Did it appear only as a joke or in the whole speech? Let’s see what Seno Gumira wrote as an example in “Bahasa!”, TEMPO August 30 – September 5 2010 edition:

““Kalo kite-kite melejit di luarnye langit sono noh nyang same aje cepetnya ame caye mentari, ntu ruang angkase bakalan ngerut ampe abis, padahal waktu bakalan kegeber omber kagak abis-abis; lantes nyang kite namain barang, kalo emang ade, ntu barang bakalan jadi gede banget kagak ade batasenye…” Mereka yang hanya mendengar bahasa Betawi melalui lenong mungkin mengira ini salah satu lawakan Bokir, padahal ini terjemahan bebas dari nukilan teori relativitas Einstein,” Seno Gumira Ajidarma.

Really, I’m sorry for being born in Jakarta and do not immerse myself with Javanese, Floresian (my parents’) or Betawi language. Because of so called modern exposure through television, the broadcasted tone of that quotation is funny. Blame me, I am guilty for not equally explore all Indonesian dialects. Through a short verbal speech, how did I know that the UI Director was not joking? As an audience, should they laugh or wrinkle their forehead as a sign of seriousness? And if the audience laughed, would it be demeaning because it extended the “funny” stereotype? Usually we use a dialect to make our audience smile, like when Obama said “Nasi Gorenk!” or shouted “Sate, sate!” in his interview with Putra Nababan. It is satisfying that a man we think “more superior” could speak one or two words in our language, it gives a sense of “coming from the same origin”.

Thank God, Obama just said one, two, or three words in Indonesian with a clear function: as an anecdote. But what was in the mind of UI Director when he used mixed language? To convey that they come from the same origin? Of course not, not all audience are Sundanese. To make the audience laugh? No. Because they did not even understand what he was talking about (meanwhile “nasi gorenk” and “sate” are accepted nationally). To formalize a stereotype that Sundanese is funny? I doubt that. So why did he mix the language to make a great encouraging sendoff for the fresh grads who are probably threatened with rare job fields out there? Is a mixed language encouraging? Encourage you to learn Sundanese, I think.

Or maybe what we fear to say the most, he just celebrated ignorance in the name of multiculturalism. It is okay for not being excellent in English, because hey, language is democratic. Was “democratic” even in the head of UI Director? Or maybe language is not important, (Just like how academic snobs looking at the study of literature, humanities, arts, and culture)? This brings us to the third point, which is who you are. UI director is the head of all faculties and self discipline in UI and were encouraging his students to be discipline in their study and life (ain’t this is the difference between institutionalized education and education of life?). In democracy, we know the word ”understand”, but for a rather big name as UI Director, why should we “understand” your difficulty in speaking English? Did you pass you English lesson in flying colors? Why should a large audience who pays your salary open a Sundanese-Indonesian dictionary? We put high respect, hence high expectation that you are the one who can “understand” us.

And now I sound like an old lady.

Youth

2010-08-11T15:18:00.011+07:00

Life has made a funny hit on me recently. Even my mom started to dream about me and my bf getting engaged (sorry Mom, not in my slightest dream). And now, she’s always tick-tocking my peaceful life, creating a woman-made time bomb. So after a Sunday shopping ritual with her, I decided not to go home but hung out with my friends then stayed at my room.

And while waiting for my friends getting their oh-so-expensive-and-fancy hair straightening and pedicure, I got myself a cup of frozen yoghurt. I grabbed a mature men magazine at first because Don Draper was the cover then I got bored and picked a teen magazine.

Udah lama banget ga baca majalah ginian. Despite of its miss-matched message (on feminism, consumerism, hence patriarchal system), teen magazines give you various and fresh information about teen. Doh! And I stumbled upon this particular blog address. I am a bloghopper and I always save new interesting blog address in my iPod. This particular blog, apparently, makes me want to adopt her a.k.a the writer. She is so adorable, honest, and explorative. Really, this girl might be a public enemy in her college or I don’t know what, she is a kind of girl whom you will totally hate (karena sirik) or love.

So, from this blog I found out that she wrote a book. I bought the book several days later (I never classified books like teenlit as cheesy or Roro Mendut as intellect, try to stay grounded) and read it in two hours straight. I read it in the office car en route to a place. Salah banjet! After I finished it, my eyes became glassy. And I thought further, “Dang crazy teenager. She got me learning about my heart and love life” which was a slap, HEY, my love life is not so different than a 21 year old’s!

Alright, I have a theory. If you want a kid, and you want your kid to be like A, B, and C it means that you are not done with yourself and you want to create someone new to accomplish your ideas. Morale: DO NOT have kids when you still feel that way. And I looked at this girl's writing, I want to have a daughter like her. OR… I am not satisfied with myself right now.

Girlfriend has a character, you know. And after several clicks of links related to her blog, I found her mom’s blog: yang bikin gw makin nangis. Her mom is fantastic. Her education system must be very good because she has a rebellious, self-assured, and responsible product. Before you get lost in my paragraphs, here are the links, chains of my glassy eyes.

Cosmo Girl – Casseybunn – "Letters, Stories, and Dream" (kalo mau sok-sok a la Beatles, ini kalo disingkat jadi LSD hehe) – Live, Love, and Me – this post.

I do not comment on her book, but you can see through her character despite the short fragmented diary-like story. She's got a lot to explore. Me too, and you too.

infatuation

2010-07-26T11:03:00.001+07:00

You are my clay
I mold you as I may
I walk you near the Notre Dame and away
Through the red cherries mistletoe and snow array
I want you as my Christmas gift
Or found you sold in a thrift
Then we chime our conversation under the sun ray
Oh my, this mind clout, don’t leave me in decay

I Want a Don Draper Full Treatment

2010-07-21T23:40:00.010+07:00

As you can see on my sidebar, I am mad for Mad Men. And, let's be clear, for mundane reasons: the costumes and Don Draper (vintage clothes and men!). But the story line is also maddening because it feels just like a tinge when you watched it, but what you know is you're already flooded with your own tears or blood after watching each episode. Kudos for January Jones for portraying unbearable lightness of being perfectly.

Now, it's been too long since the third season - finale of Mad Men. I thought it was THE end. But this nymag article just made my day. Can't wait to see Sterling Draper Cooper Pryce MADvertising agency with the dapper Mr. Draper in it.

And below are Mad Men’s spurious comic-strip origins from Vanity Fair

"It’s a little known fact—so little-known as to be essentially untrue—that the popular AMC series Mad Men is based on an obscure comic strip from the early 1960s. The strip, Those Madison Avenue Men!, was an almost painful attempt to exploit its era’s Zeitgeist and never quite caught on. At its peak, in the spring of 1961, it was syndicated in only eight newspapers; it would run for a mere 43 weeks before being canceled. The final straw may have been a week’s worth of off-color strips in which the characters pitched a hypothetical Thalidomide account. (The comic’s creators would have no better luck with their subsequent strip, the civil-rights-themed Li’l Martin, before finally hitting it big with Heathcliff.)"

and...Mad Men creator and executive producer's desk (from Vanity Fair)

jacket whore

2010-07-19T12:16:00.003+07:00

... ay em.

lesbleu

2010-07-19T10:19:00.008+07:00

I bought the batik materials from JACC, Inacraft, and traditional markets in Bali and Balikpapan. White necklace above is from a small stall at Double Six, Bali.

Batik dresses and jackets are designed by the talented Ms. Myra and Ms. Myra =)

daughter

2010-06-29T23:29:00.005+07:00

The year was struggling. It was a June with steady raindrops. Mornings would be full of heat then rain would wash down the street bringing down people from the office district to their home. People would mock at the sky. That year was a tip of something, said my mom. People all over the country felt a big energy at their core. They knew they’re going to be big. At the same time, middle age austerity pulling out what’s left for them. Canonic fundamentalists were going wild like dogs biting down the last creature found in the forest. Like vampires grooming out the last human on earth (yes, that year was also a come back year for vampires after Stroker’s Dracula).

The year was the year when old generation remembered what they saw in their youth circa 70’s. Sephia movies starred with thighs, legs, cleavages. Oh yes, they remembered it clearly. The then women leading stars now all covered up. Old, balding, fat stomached men condoned what they saw in the past, while their faces were the epitome of sleaziness.

The year was in a heat. Skirts were getting shorter and God’s payback was stronger. When suicide bombers were crucified, and so were people whose sextape was leaked. The year was the year when people wanted to do the best at everything. The best in combatting terrorism, the best in letting the outlaws grow in the name of democracy, the best in being pious, the best in sentencing corruptors, the best in not being caught up for corruption.

The year was when pancake and crepes all wrapped up into a branded high-class delicacy. Mom used to make me those for breakfast. She is the best. But, I am glad that she is not good at everything. At least, she is not the best at “inspecting” my rooms.

My father, however, was the The Best. He worships God five times a day, he fasts all days in Ramadans, he is also the best at collecting nude pictures, the best at beating Mom when he’s mad, and the best at cheating from my Mom.

He is the best at everything. Just like that year.

for(-give)

2010-06-28T22:13:00.006+07:00

How do you forgive?

Is forgive equal to give? To give the person a second chance? To wish the person happiness? Is "forgive" = for (you to) give? Is forgiveness the purest form of giving? Because we expect nothing, even the value at our end is negative. Is forgiveness a humanity challenge? Is that a chance to show our deity human form that we can give although they hurt us?

How. do. you. forgive.

What would Jesus do? What would Oprah do? What would Zooey Deschanel do? What would Buddha do? What would you do?

If the easiest way to forgive is to forget, I want an amnesia right now.

lunch convo

2010-06-14T14:27:00.004+07:00

We talked about relationshiz. It means, your relationship when it looks like a shizzz. I asked my girl friend, “Have you ever had a crush on somebody else while you’re in exclusive relationship with your current bf?” She said, ”I’ve never had guts to start exploring my curiosity over some guys if I knew that wouldn’t end up well. And since I’m in a relationship now, I just know, those crushes won’t end well.”

-Pak Sapardi, kami tidak mau jadi Hujan Bulan Juni-

photo intro

2010-06-09T11:33:00.002+07:00

Three photo sets I captured from last February's trip:

1. politique

2010-06-09T11:24:00.003+07:00

2. pinka candita

2010-06-09T11:16:00.003+07:00

3. sexiest tomb : Oscar Wilde's

2010-06-09T11:04:00.003+07:00

just because

2010-06-05T01:29:00.000+07:00

I stab you with another face everytime you talk
And your eyes become someone else’s
I pictured that sax man sharing his joints with me
Your mumbles are stripped with the environmentalist speech
Our silences are merriment with the joker
In my mind.
That is the farthest I can go

bir hakiem

2010-05-17T11:38:00.004+07:00

Fast and crowded, the underground metro crept to an open air. From here a light-swamped metropolitan city life sat its sheet under an early sunset. I hiked from Line 4 Odeon and stopped at Bir Hakiem. Unlike three days ago in a row, Paris was all dry and sunny. As if it understood I would make my biggest pilgrimage that day.

Swooshing, I followed the herds exiting metro gate. There, first thing under my sight was Ares Hotel. Its marbled floor and huge white flower pots popped an automatic comparison with the hostel I stayed in. Full off all-over-the world bratz who sacrificed their breakfast with cereal, orange juice, and hard bread for the sake of midnight heavy make ups and mini skirt cross cultural mating session. In the name of Perseus, I almost swapped my card to stay in Ares just for one night.

But of course, I didn’t. I walked through concretes until carousel light bulbs were in front of my eyes. And in front of it, on Champs de Mars greenery, there stood the Eiffel tower. For French speaking mass around me, clad in thick winter outfit, walking on that pavement was just like another step on their boring city. Here, I instantly had Monas in my mind. And it was. All big, stern, ugly, and grey that tower was.

Not until horses in Carousel de la Tour Eiffel started to move and accordion tunes flowed with it. And lights emerged in each bones of the tower structure. Sky as its background, was orange and purple blended, like a summer night in winter. Tourists around me, mostly Spanish speaking, shared that moment with their spouses, partner, family, and acquaintances. While I hugged Vincent deeply. He was my friend’s bad ass Nikon. I was alone on Parisian street.

Going back from there, I rode from Bir Hakiem until Line 6 finished at its last stop at Charles de Gaulle Etoile and spent a while in Arc de Triomphe, although I could’ve just taken Line 6 straightly to Lumiere. I prolonged my way back to the hostel because I wanted to see this city with you in my mind. On that journey, I played Anda with the Joints and SORE. It was just perfect. And, what do you do on a particularly perfect moment? You tweet, of course. And this was my tweet:

“walked back from arc the triomphe with SORE and Anda in my iPod. the only thing missing was my guy.” 6:58 AM Feb 17th via TweetDeck

And then I wondered what did you do back then. Were you asleep or working. Did you also walk with me in your thought. Then I knew you were not. I was all alone on Parisian street, even in my mind.

Three days after 2010 Valentine's Day

ticket(s)

2010-04-29T13:49:00.003+07:00

Act 1
Scene 1

(A sunny day. A couple celebrates their third anniversary and passes by Bunderan HI. It is a bright day with all Bunderan HI water hoses working, sparking a complete round to the sky. Suddenly a cop stops the car and said the bf didn’t flash the car sign lamp)

She : Don’t give them money. Ask for the ticket.

(Bf climbs down and the cop escorts him to their checkpoint. Gf doesn’t believe that he will go for the ticket, so she also go out and leave the car. After a few word and half an hour battles with the cops, they get into the car again)

She : Good that we didn’t pay and got the ticket
Him : Honey, if you’d just let me give my joker innocent face, we could’ve escaped that. And if you hadn’t interrupted, I could have just paid them 20k rupiahs. And they gave us the red ticket, not the blue one. It means that we should go to the court.
She : No. Ticket is good.

(Then they have their anniversary lunch)

Act 2, Scene 1 and Act 3, Scene 1

(Two days later and three days later gf rides with two different people and both of them get stopped by cops. Gf doesn’t do anything knowing the “get me a ticket negotiation” puts heaps of heat on her head, hence double briberies)

Act 4
Scene 1

Him : Let’s meet up. I’m going to give you the ticket receipt and please come to the court on behalf of me.
She : WTH? (putting this into her mind: being a law abiding citizen is a turn off)

termites

2010-03-23T22:08:00.001+07:00

Green leaves dangling scarcely from evenly planted trees. Legendary statues leading us to all corners of the world. Vienna, Canada, Monaco, and we saw Florida.

“I tell ya, this is looks a lot like Florida golf course. I thought the warehouse will be located somewhere shabbier,” said a person behind me.

In fact, this is not shabby at all. We entered a real estate empire. It made us see grand skins but felt like as if it was a typical Jakarta bus terminal without shelter.

As I let sunshine sipping on my skin, we reached Paris. The cluster. We stopped at a house that looked new but was not taken care of. Another person who rode with us knocked his forefinger to the door panel.

“Should watch for termites, this kind of woods,” he said. “In my old house, we planted a big cow head outside. It attracts big red ants, which will scare termites. And it worked. Traditional wisdom is magical, too bad we set it aside.”

“Yes, but you will get butches of red ants,” I said while frowning my head thinking what if a big cow head was buried deeply in my front yard.

“No, you won’t. The ants won’t come up,” he replied.

After we finished our business there, I went home. I showered, washed my hair, and just dried it with a towel. Then I slouched in my mom’s bed. Mom was looking for our Kartu Keluarga, and dug for some more items. After she finished, she looked disappointed,

“All of your life stories are gone. I wrote about your growth from the very first day I saw you until when you’re about six year old. Hand written. And it’s all gone. Also your brothers’,” she said.

I lied flat on my stomach and buried my face into mom’s pillow, with my wet hair touching some air. “Why, Mom?” I tried to be nor disappointed or mad.

“Termites ate them,” mom said lightly.

We should plant a big cow head. Or just write a blog instead. It’s termite-free. I should’ve had typed those stories and saved it electronically.

“But Mom, do you still have those cassettes with my crying in both side A and B?”

Oh, please don’t let all my life gone by termites.

possess

2010-03-15T15:03:00.002+07:00

"Sendhil Mullainathan, a Harvard economist, points out that there is often a big gap between what people say they’d like to save and what they end up saving. Saving, he argues, is often “what didn’t happen”—the accumulation of decisions not to consume. Consumption, by contrast, is an active decision to buy something. One product he is testing in India involves collaborating with banking agents to sell “savings cards” in shops, so that saving becomes an active purchase and can compete with other impulse buys. With luck these kinds of innovations can help the poor use their own savings to make life just a little more predictable," from The Economist.

Indeed, our desire to buy an object is as if we will accomplish the final objective of buying that object. i.e: when we buy books, the instant emotion is knowledge fulfillment although we haven't read that book. The act of buying reflects our instinct to possess, which is active, covering our desire to complete ourselves passively. And the innovation above tricks our psyche to actively save money. While saving in the bank feels more passive as we lost our possession to numbers in bank statement. We people like to possess.

paris pola

2010-03-13T02:55:00.004+07:00

tidbits 1: karaoke is political

2010-03-04T11:29:00.001+07:00

When you do karaoke with late 1960s and early 1970s born people and mostly men, sing heavy metal rock songs: Metallica, Deep Purple, or the most attainable ones (reachable by pop vocal range): KISS especially “Beth”, Rolling Stones, or Queen. In the most desperate times, pick The Beatles. Where there are more women, choose The Tremeloes kinda songs or early Celine Dions. More choices are melancholic songs with a bit of guitar riffs and endless desperate rising part, i.e. Air Supply’s “Making Love Out of nothing at All” or Meatloaf’s confusing song “I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That)”.

With late 1970s and early 1980s, sing Indonesian band songs in their golden years: 1990s of course. Like the first café band ever recorded: Java Jive, “Kau Yang Terindah”, “Gadis Malam”, or Protonema, Kahitna, GIGI, and Dewa when Dhani was sane. Mid 1980s have preferences of singer songwriter genre Jason, Jack, John; pop punks, J-Rocks, or challenging solo vocalists such as Mariah Carey and Michael Jackson. To put some jokes in it, choose Warna’s “Ada Cinta”, or Nicky Astria’s and fellows songs. To put some local groove, ME’S “Inikah Cinta” and Titi Kamal’s “Jablay”. I don’t sing current Indonesian pop chart, even Kuburan and other current trending bands are too bad to become jokes in karaoke room.

Choose your songs based on your audience and they will like you and think you like the same songs as them.

Aqua

2010-01-29T10:22:00.005+07:00

I made Aqua’s selling drop, at least by three populations. Why? Because I told my friends that I asked my bf to open his mouth to put a medium (not small, not big) 500 ml Aqua bottle or a banana in it. So he can feel what a BJ feels like. I mean, it’s such a chore and I don’t understand that anybody could enjoy their jaw open and up and shoving something that also functions as a urinal channel, for one hour.

And my friends will never touch Aqua again without thinking of my bf and his buggle boe.

There I said it.

And I feel so sorry because Aqua has this program “Satu untuk Sepuluh” and WASH for people in Nusa Tenggara Timur.

I’m half Flores and I’m so sorry, Aqua. But, I think guys should know about the effort their sexual partner makes. Next time I will bring him on a waxing experience. Ha!

no middleman

2010-01-20T10:19:00.002+07:00

Amount of money and time I should’ve paid if I had used a middleman to renew my passport (assumption):
IDR 575k (275 k for passport fee and 300k for the middleman), 3 days

Amount of money and time I spent without middleman:

1.Form Submission (Monday)

Taxi (Bekasi-Immigration office in Jakarta): 90k
Form : 0k (free of charge)
(But, the) Folder costs: 5k
Hours waiting: 8 hours
Submitting the form: 1 minute
Taxi (immigration office-Plaza Senayan): 25k

2.Picture taking, fingerprinting, etc (Wednesday, Day 1)

Day(s) after form submission: 2
Wake up time: 5.30 AM
Taxi (kost – immigration office): 25k
Arrival time at the immigration): 6.30 AM
Hours waiting before the immigration’s open at 8 AM: 1.30 hours
Time they told us that their online system was down: 8.30 AM
Taxi (immigration office –my office): 40k

3.Picture Taking, fingerprinting (Thursday, Day 2)

Wake up time: 5.30 AM
Taxi (kost – immigration office): 25k
Arrival time (Got the second turn): 6.30 AM
Hours waiting before the immigration’s open at 8 AM: 1.30 hours
Fee: 275k
Picture taking, fingerprinting, and payment done: 9.30 AM
Taxi (immigration office –my office): 40k
Arrived at the office: 10.30 AM

4.Passport Collecting (Wednesday, the week after)

They said my passport would be done on Tuesday and my feeling told me it couldn’t be, so I came on Wednesday.
Wake up time: 6 AM
Taxi (kost – immigration office): 25k
Arrival Time: 7 AM
Hours waiting before the immigration’s open at 8 AM: 1 hour
Time they told me my passport was still in process: 8.30
(my feeling was right, and it’s Wednesday!)
Taxi (immigration office – my office): 40k
Arrived at the office: 9.15 AM

I just calculated the cost at my end: 590k, 1 week and 3 days
Assumed cost I should’ve paid if I had used a middleman: 575k, 3 days

Ha!

(And I haven’t got my passport yet, so the cost would sum up at least for one more day)

It’s tiring being a law-abiding citizen.

power struggle

2010-01-18T18:53:00.005+07:00

Bf’s favorite radio channels are the one where Bittersherry’s bf works and the one that doesn’t broadcast any ad, with nonstop jazz and pop songs. He tunes into those radios every weekend. That means in all our dates with me, as a person with ears, included in the car. He doesn’t play his iPod. And thank God he doesn’t do that because his iPod only consists of Rockstar Supernova contestants’ numbers.

One Saturday, I bought this Java Jazz deluxe pack CD. Indra lesmana, Gilang Ramadhan, AS Mates, Donny Suhendra, and Dewa Budjana finally come up with their new album “Joy Joy Joy” after a long hiatus. I thought, bf is pretty tired of those radio channels too. I thought, I am giving us a new music flavor of the night. I thought 29 year old guys are all grown up. I thought this and that. And, I slipped in Joy Joy Joy CD A in the middle of Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” right when it shouts “MASTER voom voom MASTER,” Master yes we get it you adrenaline-d macho men.

Java Jazz’ “Exit Permit” reached its fifth second when my bf pulled out my poor CD out and said, “Hey, be patient. The song will be over soon. Then you’ll have your turn.” I was sick with that particular rock radio and that night was their oh listen, Request Night. And I was pretty mad that he thought I did not know how long that Metallica’s number last. You might think the last drumbeat is when the song ends. We all know it’s wrong. Dream Theater and Metallica’s songs are like multiple orgasms. You thought U’ve reached the climax but there are many stages after that in one song, often with different genres, melody, timbre, texture and rhythms.

Fine, he could do that and I could do what I do best: silent treatment. I took my iPod and listened to random songs my iPod played and it played “Half of My Heart” by John Mayer and Taylor Swift. Suhweet. Bf then pulled my earphones. I put them on again. He then increased the radio’s volume. And then I started humming. And my iPod was very smart; it played totally different kind of songs than that stupid screaming Metallica. It played, “I’m Easy”, “Kissing a Fool”, songs by Los Indios Trabajaras. One more thing that my bf didn’t know was I study best with loud music. In this case, that loud stupid Metallica is my catalyst to listen to my iPod better. Then of course, he did not turn off the radio.

And that my friends, is how silly a simple thing can be. Based on this article, there are five stages in a committed relationship; Romance, Disillusionment, Power Struggle, Stability, Commitment. Each stage has its own period. But, my Power Struggle stage keeps on showing and in my case, it is infinite. I was in my fourth song when “Master of Puppets” ended (slight exaggeration here). Finally, I said, ”The song would finish soon huh? Like, tomorrow?” And the power struggle stage continued. But really, who likes plain vanulla relationship?

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

2009-12-25T23:27:00.005+07:00

It's Christmas time and I know not everybody has the privilege to attend Christmas eve mass in the cathedral then waited for their bf to finish Sholat Maghrib at Istiqlal. Here's what it feels like, please take a piece of its warmth =)

Jakarta's cathedral seen from Istiqlal pavement

Cathedral's gate

Christmas eve mass with Indonesia National Police' Protection.

After that, bf's almost 30 birthday dinner:

Both: Bebek Bengil Restaurant

nephew #3

nephew #2 with his glow in the dark pumpkin pajamas

nephew #2 with his future diet

Hope your holiday be fuzzed with love and warmth, y'all!

uniform

2009-12-03T14:49:00.002+07:00

In uniform, I see you in function and form. I don’t really see your face. I don’t see your hair. Just like when most people think Asians or African American or Indians or Aborigins or Arabs share the same face between them. Or when we see orangutans or macaques, they have similar faces the first time we see them. When they clad you in short skirts and skimpy shirt with your hair done that people call you sales promotion girl, I want you to please, smile, and serve me. When you put on your student uniform I want you to adhere with the school system. I don’t see your eyebrows, your eyes, let alone your personalities. For me, this is why some people have fetish in uniform. We, the lookers, are the subjects who determine your function. I don’t want you to talk back, god forbid give me ideas. You have to fulfill what your uniform represents. It’s all about the persons not in uniforms.

This is why I don't like uniform.

active listener

2009-11-04T10:52:00.005+07:00

I found this article when flipping through websites during my morning green tea before work ritual, “Feeling Grumpy is ‘good for you’”. And I love the phrase “annoying happy types” they use there. It basically says:

“An Australian psychology expert who has been studying emotions has found being grumpy makes us think more clearly.
In contrast to those annoying happy types, miserable people are better at decision-making and less gullible, his experiments showed.
While cheerfulness fosters creativity, gloominess breeds attentiveness and careful thinking, Professor Joe Forgas told Australian Science Magazine”.

It’s like, wow someone feels me. Disclaimer: I’m not saying I am attentive and thinking carefully, but I am gloomy in general. Happy, in appearance at least, is not something that comes easy for my 25 years living. I have curved down lips. Not flat, not up. Lips, which I recall from some scientific facial research, belong to persons who age sadly. In my normal state of expression, my lips are curved down, I look barky. Bf keeps telling me to smile, like everyday. I know I have wide angled smiley lips, and it looks slightly better than the normal state (One has to know what one’s got). But, it is hard to stage.

Anyway, I try. I changed my blog background from black to this I-don’t-know-what-variant-of-green-is, my twitter background is a happy purple with soft flowers, and my emo suicidal mood has changed drastically recently, not that I ever had it but you know what I mean. I rant fewer; I create dark surreal poems full with metaphors scarcely, the obvious one is black is no longer my favorite wardrobe color. It all comes with effort. Oh, and smileys in texts, there you go. An effort.

Do not think that I made the effort to change my branding. No. More practical reason for me is to become a less of an active listener. In my whole life, people talk to me more than I talk to them. And perhaps, not happy face (interpreted as serious by overly verbose persons) and attentiveness play some roles here.

Has this reduced my attractive active listener characteristic? No. A large number of my YM conversations still consist of me saying “trus?”, “and?”, “why?”, and just a bit of my counterpart asking ”how about you?” five lines before the conversations end. And I say “trus?”, etc in a full conscious, fabricated, so you will be satisfied with this yours truly active listener.

Being an active listener (really, one has to know what one’s got or perhaps the only thing that one’s got) is well, interesting. Some people even ask me to conclude and giving them inputs. Sometimes, I feel like analyzing a discourse using Laclau and Mouffe discourse analysis theory, and should write a thesis upon a love story. I feel honored and doing something useful, and scientific.

When an active listener counterpart keep being a verbose counterpart in his/her life and shutting down their opposite chatter, their position is not equal with the others. I see you, yes you chatty persons, as people who come, talk, and leave without paying a shrink fee. In contrast, the always be active listener is also a dumb. Should have a right portion for everything, right? Hence, my effort. Meanwhile, talkative people*, pay up your shrink fee. I kid I kid, you know I love you *lots of smileys* ohhh, and XOXO.

*Talkative people do not always appear happy. Lots of them are masked in black rock n roll gloomy weed-full face.

sniff

2009-09-09T10:37:00.004+07:00

Luncheon with rose-bouquet-tea in a blue china, poached egg, breakfast sausage, savory waffles, and grapefruit slices. This accompanied by conversation on rose dripping boughs or about the new wallpaper; a stained blue Victorian which looks perfectly worn out. Nah, that’s just in my Anne of Green Gables induced fantasy. My lunch yesterday unlikely came with a practical tip (from an often-sniffed-by-the-pregnant-wife-husband) of how to get rid of cigarette stink from your body. This accompanied by a bowl of cap cay and pineapple et orange juice.

So, here we go:

1. Smoke in open air; smoke stink will stay bolder in an indoor room, most likely if you’re sweating. So, try not to sweat while smoking. Wind also helps ‘sweeping’ the smoke away, thus open air.

2. Wash your mouth with cookies, water, and then some peppermint candy after that. Food helps a lot to reduce the smoke stink.

3. Also clean your nostrils, either with tissue or water. Brown nicotine residue usually stays there because sometimes you also exhale the smoke through your nose.

4. No smoking in a room, car, or any other places that easily invite the pregnant wife’s sniffing cyborg ability.

5. Shower. Duh.

This is so random, I know.

my typical morning

2009-09-02T09:15:00.002+07:00

Me: we turn right at Bunderan HI

Taxi driver: Oh, you mean Cokroaminoto street

yawn (some drivers say Cokroaminoto street some say Sutan Syahrir street some say Imam Bonjol, all I know is the street lays right to Nikko Hotel) So, by not negating or approving, I said…

Me: We turn right to the street beside Nikko Hotel

Taxi driver: yes. It IS Cokroaminoto (some drivers would say, “Yes, like what I said, it IS Sultan Syahrir-or Imam Bonjol-)

Time for me to google or simply ask, so I wouldn’t have mornings so typical anymore.

so...

2009-08-28T15:26:00.000+07:00

I have two relationship journals
the first one tells my boyfriend’s bad behavior
the second one glorifies our shunned glittery times
I will reveal the first one if we broke up
The second one will be our reminder at our 40th anniversary.
Only one third of this information is true.

wishful thinking

2009-07-13T11:20:00.001+07:00

It was a chill night. Bf just got back from his business trip and for some reason I didn’t speak to him at all. Me and silence do not correlate to each other, seeing this bf drove his car further from my place. “Why are you so silent?” I knew where this conversation leads to. With a good ladylike manner I answered, “Nothing.” Ha. Then, he drove rather far away.

“We can go to Taman Menteng,” I said.

Abandoning my wish, he strolled through road to Erasmus Huis. I remembered our favorite place near there, Trattoria. Okay perhaps he wanted a comfy place to talk and a good pizza plus free after dine in baileys! Yaiyy! Wrong. He parked his car beside a large vacant land.

“What do you want from this relationship?” he asked

Why so serious? I’m so tired I wanna go home. Should I answer?

“Ha? Uh? What?”

“Why do you still want to be with me?” He asked again, try to clarify, but I think those two questions had different meanings.

Why did you ask ?

“Why….?”

“Just answer. Please.”

Then he got out from the car, lighted his cig and reached for a small bendable bench, put it on the grass beside my door, and sat there. From up here (his car is a minivan), he was literally on my knee.

Okay, here we go. What a tricky question, such a prick. Why am I still with you? Umm, what will girls say? because…I feel comfortable with you, I need laughs, you need me, definitely. I like to share…you know…our needs. Be prepared for the best and the worst. The worst would be he’s breaking up with me with that typical passive aggressive question and the best would be he’s proposing me. Hey, he was (at least seemed like) kneeling!

“…Because I like spending time with you…”

“For how long?”

How do I know, damn. I wanna go home yada yada yada, let’s kiss and make up. To make this fast (I always believe, when it hurts and lame, better do it quick), I jerked this off.

“For…ever…”

“In what form?”

Oh, here we go when men become complicated. This is tricky. In what form my butt! Are you talking about what kind of social contract? I wanna go home. I f I said, I’m okay with any form, he’ll think I’m not taking us seriously. If I said marriage, God forbid, he would successfully trap me to say it first.

“In what form, I don’t know,” rolling my eyes, exhausted.

“Well, listen,” he stepped on his cig butt and put a serious melancholic face.

Here we go here we go, he’s gonna say it. What will I say..um…perhaps, Oh baby, what a sweet of you, but I’m not ready.

“Honey, I love spending time with you. But, to take it to forever, some things need fixing. Like you, would you please speak in a more soft intonation (referring to the unmentioned catfight) and not cornering me around, more importantly, do not always ask W H Y?”

But, WHY? What’s wrong with why?

“Wh…y?”

He continued, “If I said something, would you please don’t ask WHY and just enjoy whatever ride we’re having?”

I remembered EQ Puradiredja’s tweet, “Nothin' you can do about it.. Its too strong to be denied. Don't you try to understand it.. Just relax and enjoy the ride.. :)” Alrite honey, I got it I got it. Could we just go home, My Name is Earl DVDs are waiting. Dang, the long ride was just for a very simple proposition and suggestion.

“Ok.”

There you go, no engaged lady for that night. I was just having a wishful thinking. But at least I know, he’s in a better mood and giving soft cheekkisses. He played OASIS Live Acoustic Playlist before, and now he intentionally hit the Tony Bennett duet playlist. I preferred OASIS better so I could sing along with it, but Tony Bennett duo showed he’s having beautiful butterflies in his head. Much better. Hey, nothing is better than a guy who’s recovering from a bad mood. They’re as soft as sheepskin.

love

2009-06-29T15:20:00.001+07:00

Flaky cotton candy hay

Blue pink yellow and none of them is grey

Like a charm in life, I want you to stay

Some lollipops are blinding my way

I get bored and fell black as the ashtray

But, poppies will bloom, at least every May

And, you, my baby, will not be a passé

Ov . June 29th 2009

capitalism

2009-05-07T01:10:00.002+07:00

Politics is personal, and business is not. That what makes business atmosphere is more tolerant than politics. Chinese businessmen would make sure that their product is Halal, Moslem realtor would build Chinese mini garden, Christian rattan maker would make special packages for Idul Fitri parcels. The end desire would be money, but the experience in taking humility of our own labels, namely religion, skin, and nationality to serve others would form up the melting pot ambience. The chance to open the minds for the sake of money is a priceless experience that none economic system can foster, except capitalism. Where in capitalism we shed the labels that seemingly formed by our cultures, which we cannot even see the clear reason except clearly for ego booster and identity to differentiate us from the others. Further, in which people are to trust others based on meritocracy rather than identities that have sipped into our skin becoming a subconscious rage to be defended, with no real evidence.

charles darwin

2009-04-23T10:29:00.004+07:00

Darwin's masterpieces:

“On the Origin of Species” (1859), “The Descent of Man and Selection in Relation to Sex” (1871) and “The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals” (1872).

On the "Origin" : Darwin presented extensive and compelling evidence that all living beings — including humans — have evolved from a common ancestor, and that natural selection is the chief force driving evolutionary change.

On the "Descent of Man": "Sexual selection was an additional force, responsible for spectacular features like the tail feathers of peacocks that are useless for (or even detrimental to) survival but essential for seduction," Charles Darwin.

On the "Expression":

Illustration by Thomas Porostocky; Photographs by University of Cambridge
In “The Expression of the Emotions in Animals and Men,” Darwin traced connections between humans and animals in the muscles used to express emotions such as grief and terror.

Historian Richard Milner said, “Everyone should find his own Darwin. The man was so large. He was a zoologist, a botanist, an explorer, a travel writer, a philosopher, an abolitionist, a doting father, a radical intellectual revolutionary with an utterly conservative and blemish-free lifestyle. He revolutionized every field he touched, and he was trained in none of them.”

www.nytimes.com

rug

2009-04-22T14:21:00.001+07:00

nymag.com

mirror

2009-04-22T14:04:00.001+07:00

nymag.com

kebaya

2009-04-21T11:45:00.002+07:00

There is no connection between kebaya and Kartini Day. Never. Yet, I posed politely every year as a child to win Walkin in Kebaya competitions. Therefore, I am digging to see why Kebaya has been a symbol for Kartini Day for quite a long time. IMHO, Kebaya DOES compliment women’s body. With its tight lines, boobs squeezer top, super wrapper sarong, and kitten heels, you can just imagine any man would love to rip that off you in the middle of paddy field. Kebaya DOES compliment women trait to be lean with mother-like or virgin-like, or even soft, weak, poke-able figures. Kebaya DOES compliment woman’s body to be sexy (remember, tight tight tight) yet mysterious (tight and closed). Kebaya DOES compliment every man’s dream about how Indonesian women should be. To wear a Kebaya, we should have a perfect body minus fat gulp on the back of the hand, in our biceps and triceps, even on our upper back. No fat on our hips or thighs. Unless, it is not the noble Javanese woman that you picture, it’s the mbok-mbok. To wear a kebaya, we should walk one inch at a time unless you will stumble. To wear a Kebaya properly, you should tidy up your hair, at least with French twist or a bun, with small flower.

If you want to connect a Kebaya with new order culture, there you have it.
But, if you want to connect Kebaya with Kartini, there is no such connection, other than Kartini wore Kebaya as it was a mass product for women clothing in Jepara years ago.

Happy kartini Day. Burn that Kebaya down. I’ve never liked Kebaya, anyway.

blahgirls.com

2009-04-21T11:22:00.004+07:00

John Mayer's Diary Found

crazy pinko jacket

2009-04-02T16:23:00.006+07:00

as a mediocre jacket collector, i think this jacket is ohhsome.

NET-A-PORTER.COM

a

2009-04-02T15:41:00.001+07:00

most of the male characters in my sentimental side of life (read: romance) have names started with letter a, followed with d:

adi***
adr***
adr*****
adi*****
and, my dearest
ade aka adi**

life is so funny

Sore.

2009-03-30T11:50:00.008+07:00

Yesterday concert at Teater Salihara was definitely the best concert for me for the first quarter of this year. Bringing the theme “Publik untuk Ruang Publik” (Public for Public Space), the concert blending vintage Indonesian motion pictures with music from indie spheres, KunoKini, Efek Rumah Kaca, and Sore. Located in a nearly invisible area in South Jakarta, the grey brick-stoned community house was moderately packed with tweens, teens, adults, and mature people to attend the closing ‘ceremony’ of National Movie Month 2009 themed “Sejarah Adalah Sekarang” (History is Now).

Interesting choice was made to close the month by playing those bands while slides from vintage Indonesian movies were playing. KunoKini hummed and hit the drum while environment- forest-rain like slides played, also a clip from Tiga Dara. Then, Efek Rumah Kaca gave music to G/30S/PKI slides by Arifin C. Noor (seriously, this is one of the most horrific thriller movies in the history). The last, Sore was assisted by classic romantic sagas, such as: Badai Pasti Berlalu, Ali Topan Anak Jalanan, Gita Cinta Waktu SMA, Kala, Pintu Terlarang (the last two were not romantic at all, tho).

KunoKini was highly applaud-able. Who can ignore a whole set of traditional percussion, nice humming and whistling techniques, tribal ethnic fashion and tattoos, guys who can rap, wear keds, and utter smart lyrics (such as “UU-APP F*** that Shit!!”) ,move to reggae mood, and have dreadlock-ed heads? Definitely not me. The highlight of their performance was when the slide listed various Indonesian cultures that were “stolen” by other countries, mostly Malaysia. And the list went beyond twenty and KunoKini bombarded the audience with ever so nationalist lyrics.

Efek Rumah Kaca set aside their “Lagu Cinta Melulu” image and uncovered their true flesh: political, dark songs with high guitar distortion. They did not rest at all for 30 minutes, and left the audience with no oxygen hearing their songs in chains with GS0S/PKI movie. So frustrating. I bet this was their aim. No doubt, they successfully heightened the tense. Aside from their no engagement to the audience, their music was helluva dark and melodious at the same time. Not recommended for those in suicidal mood.

Sore. What can I say. Perfect, except for some sound failures on Ade Firza’s mic (I guess they should put the lyrics up on the slides, like karaoke, you know what I mean). Sore brought vintage Indonesian sounds complimented with psychedelic, melodious, and a nice Synthesizers combination. To add, their composition was genuine, smart, and so Indonesian. To imagine, their songs were like bringing you through the journey of faded old photos from Kebun Raya Bogor to Old Jakarta night life. From La Ramblas to Monas (hmmm…too farfetched). However, there is not much Indonesian band with Indonesian sound. To mention some: GSP’Gypsi, KLA, Humania, and Sore. Last night, Sore knocked down their repertoire and impressed the audience with hard and loud sound combined with blossomful lyrics and melodies. They made my eyes misty, especially the "Lullaby Blues" song.

DC

2009-03-24T10:06:00.003+07:00

Dane Cook replied my email. A documentation of a fanmail.
Gw merasa kayak ABG lagi. Hoho.

Me:

Hi Dane,

My name is (insert my full name), from indoensia.

1. i am following you on twitter
2. i made several replies
3. i wonder whether you ever received it or not, because somehow if i don't follow a person in twitter, and that person replies me, i won't be able to see the reply.
4. So, here you go....my replies for your tweets so far. (and i listed my tweets)

Again,
Happy Birthday!

-me-

Dane:

saw them all -- just get a ton ... KEEP SENDING and THANK YOU!!!

DC

Hahah.

when osama and obama collide

2009-03-05T15:28:00.004+07:00

one of Indonesian Legislative Candidates put both names in one poster.

ugly posters

2009-03-05T15:19:00.006+07:00

Let’s see what happened around lately. Indonesia is coming closer to the 2009 presidential and legislative election. The balloting will be done on April 9th 2009. The impact, generally, is now cities all over Indonesia look ugly because they are donned with haphazard posters from legislative candidates from not two, not three, but more than 30 political parties. Each centimeter of empty space in Jakarta is sticked with small pamphlets with various uncoordinated colors.

Moreover, It’s pretty tough though, since I do not know most of the candidates’ names and faces. To sum some, click this . And, this year, more and more celebrities participate as legislative candidate as well. Rumor has it, including as a presidential candidate (Dedy Mizwar, everyone?). I say, it is a good thing, since I know those popular faces, they know how to handle crowds and put on some image management, they publicize themselves properly. And, it does not mean that they are less intelligent than the non-celebrities candidates. All they need is some super responsive and smart core team of people.

I do want to make the wisest decision. But I think it’s pretty hard, since there is scarce source of information that explains these candidates neutrally. I really just hope Indonesia has less than 10 parties. It makes choosing easier for a complicated person like me. It means, I don’t have to think this and that’s. But, with a country with more than 17.000 islands, you never know.

lomo

2009-02-26T15:01:00.002+07:00

Don't think, just shoot.
So curious for Lomo
Holga kit, Colorsplash camera, Horizon 202, Pop 9, Action sampler, Cybersampler, Super Sampler, 3D Camera set, Smena 8 dan Seagull TLR. and, iPhone's polarize application!!
let's see. Would i try it or not.
anyway, i'm in for everything vintage.

island caretaker

2009-02-24T22:09:00.002+07:00

some of you know arief aziz, some of you don't.
well, here i fully support him to take a leap in his life
to be an island caretaker
watch the video and give him some stars, folks!

fire fair

2009-02-20T01:43:00.001+07:00

She would now lit the fire
Even though it’s hard to make it fainter
She would put puzzle of words
He would put narrative in herds
She would lost knowledge just sense
And sparks of logical emotion being now and then
He would tuck seemingly rational proposal in a den
She would see him as having no bargain
As he tired of this monstrous situation
He slapped the door and going to his heaven
She would stay still with no move
As if the open door will prove
That the roar she heard before
Would be his cycle back to the harbor
Would be him stepping in again at the door
But she would stay still with no move
And melt within the truth of the rouge
Embracing the pain as it turfs
And dissipate it to a fair
That sometimes, she needs to lit a fire
To make life fuller with flair

me no dali

2009-02-09T14:56:00.004+07:00

Being a person graduated from a program with a feminism class in it doesn’t make me a feminist. I mean, ideally there is no feminist, multiculturalists, anything good-ist, simply compact everything into a humanist. However, I dissipate patriarchy and support feminism just because sparing women for her second class social constructed- traits is something occurs from diminutive minded persons and is a very dull thing to think of.

A friend gave a gender class one day and asked male religious teachers to describe traits associated with female. Their answers were: those who make coffee, prostitute, soft, those who turn us on, and those who make something sleeping becomes erected.

EEEEWWWW, I know. This post comes as a friend alleged me to be non-feminist despite of literatures that I read. He said, “I have a very strong and independent woman colleague, she said, she doesn’t care if her husband cheat on her. She’s very into her works. I think, it’s because of her high self-confident. I think, she describes our era of women, when feminism has influenced women’s attitude widely. That’s how a new woman should be. I mean, there are some women who are repressed in their relationship, but they don’t do anything about it although they understand feminism. They do whatever the male partners want them to do: change religions, get married soon, doesn’t allow her to meet her friends, etc etc. But this woman colleague of mine is so great that she doesn’t care if she is cheated, she has a full confidence that she’s happy because of herself, not because she is being with her husband.”

Hmmm…..did you see teh nini face when AA Gym decided to “split” his love. Me no Gala and Salvador Dali who said okay when each other had more than one concubines. And, I think, a relationship will not be at its purest form anymore if one of the person cheating, and it doesn’t have anything to do with feminism or strong women, it’s simply a matter of how you keep your words to another person.

Sam

2009-01-07T11:05:00.002+07:00

My favorite author, Samuel P. Huntington just died on December 24th 2008. I read his books for his straight to the point and never boring line. Perhaps, strongly, because the minute I read his Who Are We? I found the elaborative explanation of what I had in my entangled mind, that Culture is the heartbeat that makes people march everyday,including to the war.

Jonah Goldberg said that Huntington's 1996 "The Clash of Civilizations" work:

"was deeply, and often willfully, misunderstood and mischaracterized by those who didn't want it to be true. But after 9/11, it largely set the terms for how we look at the world. In it, he argued that culture, religion and tradition are not background noise, as materialists of the left and the right often argue. Rather, they constitute the drumbeat to which whole civilizations march. This view ran counter to important constituencies. The idea that man can be reduced to homo economicus has adherents among some free-market economists, most Marxists and others. But it's nonsense on stilts. Most of the globe's intractable conflicts are more clearly viewed through the prisms of culture and history than that of the green eyeshade. Tensions between India and Pakistan or Israel and the Arab world have little to do with GDP."

2009

2009-01-06T13:18:00.002+07:00

Year : 2009
Mood : Pessimist Optimistic
New Year’s Eve : Mediocre
I think God is : Funny and doesn’t like me partying
New Year’s Resolution : Think Less
Hair : Longest ever
Bod : Bf said no changes since 2007
Age : turning 25 (ouch!!!)
Thought : saving for car, house, children’s education
Dream : master degree, travel all over the world, read,
write, having a small creative store or magazine,
working with arts, culture, creative things,
mastering striptease
Philosopher : Edmund Burke
Hunk : Dane Cook
Prophet : Bob Marley

xmasy

2008-12-22T14:40:00.001+07:00

I had two conversations with two different friends from two different countries in two different places. The first one from the sandy beach Australia, the later from Austria (but he never seen the “Sound of Muziek”). In café au lait and shisha cafe. Both asked me the same question, about how I feel living a country with the biggest number of Moslem people. How could I ask for more, Indonesia is a tolerant country which has religious holidays from five (not only one or two!) but five different religions. And, each religion has more than one holiday. That is the simplest example. Could anyone mention more countries with the same attitude?

I am a happy Catholic living amidst Moslem friends and boyfriend.

Anyway, I put a perhaps case in that. Perhaps, it’s just because I am surrounded with tolerant friends and family. May this tolerance go around without an end.

And,
Merry Christmas

deaden

2008-12-11T14:15:00.000+07:00

I know what it feels like when they told you not to pass but you still trespassed. The chill the blood the anguish bitter cold numb. Though it is a bliss to see ladybugs sometimes in the dark. I cannot go climb the oak tree and surf to the other dimensions afar. I just wish this frosted and blazed rainforest will turn itself into a warm weather landscape with flower and butterflies where I can submit my whole tiredness to. Your sublime is a mask. I detest all pains and lax that forms your gigantic darkness. I need your regular everydayness.

ithink

2008-12-01T22:33:00.001+07:00

people who have got nothing to lose are either those who have nothing or everything

1980

2008-11-21T10:28:00.009+07:00

i was born in 1980s and I always think that decade hugs me. Just like a night with its glistening lights that I leave the morning after for a more sunny future. But I cannot ever forget the night. And Barry White is the epitome of the night's soundtrack. Dian Pramana Putra, Vina Panduwinata, Guruh and his Gypsy,Barry White, Ally McBeal (I know this is in 1990's, but most of its soundtracks are White's), ABBA, The Doors, late Queen and Beatles. Except the first three names, the others actually marked the seventies.

And yes that is my elementary school for music. 1970s and early 1980s. It is like moving on from a philosophical search to a more steady, warm, familiar, comforting, and a disco-ey quixotic nights. When you can dance on the rooftop of your apartment, without siding whether to go to war or not.

This ia a Love Orchestra Unlimited Video, conducted by Barry White in "Love's Theme". Released in 1973, it became one of few pure orchestral songs ever that proved to reach number one seat in Billboard Hot 100 in the history. "

when i wake up

2008-11-21T09:55:00.005+07:00

i would shower and dress and open the door and walk down the stairs and i would meet tiny men who guard our residences playing guitar. And i would walk the small path which has just recently ashpalted, together with a traditional market odor blended with traditional treats people buy for breakfast. a brown sugar coated sticky rice, deep fried cassava, and coconut milk stirred rice. I would stand on the pavement and looking for an empty cab. My gesture would be the same as the young men, girls, mothers who stand on the pavement, stretch their arms and point their index finger, waiting to be picked up by cars which need the second or the third passanger or both within theirs.

And, everytime i get to get a cab, some of them are still standing outside.Some see their friends get lucky, already hitchhiked to an airconned car. I wonder whether they wished to be me who can control which cab I want and do not have to stand still for two hours just to get a ten thousand rupiah.

Just exactly what I feel when I see women buying a Dior Saddle bag.
When that kind of feeling vents out, remember it's all just a mental slavery.

"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds. I've no fear for atomic energy cause none of them can stop the time," said Bob Marley, Two most powerful sentences I have ever heard.

witness

2008-11-05T23:18:00.004+07:00

I am so lucky to be a witness of a historical event. White Anglo Saxon Protestant to African American Protestant. It is like a day when Indonesia being ruled by a Chinese-Papuan descendant who believes in Buddhism. It is a long way to go.
Today, Barrack Hussein Obama elected as the 44th US President. May it inspire the whole world.

Like, take from the easiest one...not using sawer-able Dangdut singers as a way to promote party's promises.

Btw, of his victory speech, this is my favorite line: "It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation’s apathy."

Bandung

2008-10-30T13:28:00.014+07:00

Bandung is a destination to fill your primordial needs. From food, relaxing, having a conversation over a cup of bandrek, sleep in the car, food again, and smooching around behind your friends’ back.

I went to Bandung two weeks ago with my friends. Disclaimer, I am not a Bandung fan. I am not a girl who spends her once a month weekend to Bandung. I go to Bandung for about once a year. So, when I went to Bandung two weeks ago, I searched for different template activities rather than nongkrong at some coffee shop or shopping.

That being said,

we stayed at Concordia

and
we went to:

1.Kopi Selasar

To, clearly, nongkrong, have some coffee, you can choose also several kinds of liquor coffee and some smoothies, although they are too sugary. Have a conversation with a gallery-ish architecture surrounded with abstract wood statutes and mountain view breezy air.

2.Sari Ater Hot Water Spring.

To play flying fox, go-kart, and to raft. Since this place is pretty far from the city, that you can even have a siesta on the way there, Go there before noon, so you can catch up the last go-kart schedule, which is at 5 p.m.

3.Sapu Lidi

No need to ask. The food will get you bloated like blah. I mean, if you feed yourself excessively. Find various kinds of sambal together with your dish. We agreed that it was the best food we’ve had in the last one month.

4.Congo

Feel the masculine atmosphere from big logs of wood as their basic of architecture. You could use the air-coned room with glass on each side if you will. But, sitting on the sofa with cozy pillows could steal your heart out until you fall asleep on it. It’s like being a guest in Aiden’s, Carrie Bradshaw’s ex, house

5.Boemi Joglo

Order its lychee ice, coconut ice full of coconut milk (they are so generous giving away those), beef satay, tofu, and its chicken and mushroom steamed rice. Perfect meal to defend your stomach from the cool air.

And, of course, Bandung fired up our most primordial selves, being idiotic.

my baby

2008-09-17T16:21:00.000+07:00

For you who are questioning, what happened to my plan buying Nintendo DS, well, I kind of altered the plan into buying a sleek all touch screen mobile phone. No, not iPhone 2.0. But, LG Viewty KU9900. It featured 5 megapixel camera, with DivX video recorder, Google package, HDSPA, 3G, you name it. It was so flashy that the video was crystal clear as well as the sound. And someone robbed my two weeks baby two days ago while I was inside a bajaj.

My personal belief is, whatever the reason is, stealing one person’s possession away is intolerable. Whether it is about your phone or your life. Whether you are poor or not, stealing or robbing or killing, is unjustifiable.

I am not planning to drown myself too long. When will iPhone 2.0 arrive in Indonesia?

2008-09-10T10:11:00.003+07:00

wrath. i am a kid losing her popsicle. they took away my dance classes. you name it: dance show, hip hop, R and B night, belly dancing, all. as a replacement, they made classes with wieght lifting movements. What? sexiness and movement coordination is overrated now??
ah well, i am digging Joshua Radin.

women pay

2008-09-04T15:10:00.004+07:00

We learned from our infamous cultural classes, that we have to embrace, at least know the concept of feminism. We learned, and yes we cursed guys for enjoying the patriarchal system, their male gaze, and for departing the sexes into two binary oppositions (thanks Mr. Edmund Burke). We blessed the philosophy that women need equal chance as what men have. But, did we mean it?

Most of my heterosexual female friends have bigger money, bigger salary, and bigger inheritance than their male partners. When the bill comes, and it’s time to pay, unlike any other typical romantic imageries, the female ones pay more than fifty percent of the bill. What do you think? I think it’s is realistic, and it does happen, in fact, in most regions in Indonesia. More women now do have bigger salary than men, or bigger money from paddy harvesting, even.

For most of the time, we are lured by diamond advertisement, clings of wine glasses, happy faces that show excitement, the male counterpart is buying you a diamond stud! And in all media, we see that men pay. Look at our sinetrons, advertisement, novels, television, reality show, gossip show, even from our parents’ mouth. But the trouncing reality has different story. There are women who pay more than their men. I am not saying about the equality anymore, instead, about women’s superiority in financial bit.

In a society which runs both paradigms, feminism and patriarchy, women who already have no problem with equality and now being more than men will feel these tiny weenie feelings:

1.Why do I have to pay?
2.Is he with me just because of my money?
3.Why can’t he pay?
4.I am not supposed to split my money
5.It’s okay to be like this
6.I want to be in a conventional relationship
7.I hate lame guys
8.I don’t like it that my boyfriend is a cheap ass but I like him more for his other loads
9.I have no problem as long as he also treated me conventionally (a.k.a treat you)some other times.
10. etc. and etc.

Have you ever experienced this bummy mushy feeling?

update on our safe trip

2008-09-02T11:52:00.002+07:00

The geek corporate guy is now taking a guitar lesson
(very intriguing yet the most uncanny activity I’ve seen so far)

The business woman going to be is pampering and preparing herself for her upcoming journey across Hong Kong and Europe

The socialite diva is now submitting her master degree scholarship application

The family guy is now trying to take a badminton lesson
(I don’t know whether trying is equal to doing)

The happy go lucky girl is now opening (loosening) her chances to accept love from different varieties of guys. Even the weird ones.

safe trip

2008-08-26T16:19:00.003+07:00

Introducing my friends:

A guy who won abundant competitions since his high school ranging from science Olympics to social science Olympics, now working in the world’s second biggest finance bank branch in Jakarta. His office can even pay him for the most expensive medical check up he wants to take.

A girl who is so persistent towards her life, taking public administration major in her college. Now working successfully in one of the most prestigious Bank that offers voluptuous package of regional management trainee. She is going across Europe next month for two months for a training paid by her office.

A guy who is always loved by his nuclear and extended infamous family. Always seen by his friend as wise, kind hearted and warm. Worked for a junior consultant company, now he is a partner in that company.

A girl who is so literate in playing cello, English fluent, wins a bunch of best speaker awards overseas, has plenty of boyfriends, lush social life, excellent communication skill, naturally flirty body language and now working at the one of the most well-paid job in Indonesia.

A girl who has liberated minds of sibling, really enjoy beaches, sand, jack Johnson, lay back ness, yet the most vigorous person in commanding youth debating events in Indonesia together with the NGO that she is working with. Beside that NGO, she also works for an NGO which was being attacked by FPI at Monas. Also, she is finishing her second undergraduate degree of Sociology. She has a fun and a very breezy life.

And me.

And we are not content with the present condition. Since someone said that we have to take a LEAP in order to make our life meaningful for ourselves. GET OUT of our COMFORT ZONES.

A vigilant life makes a development. But it’s only leap that can make an innovation.

And here we are cursing at our night life and safe trip, and now rumbling about our quarter life crisis.

comfy is

2008-08-14T13:44:00.006+07:00

when i read these books in my childhood, i felt an effortless comfortable feeling around.

10. girl talk
9. malory towers (enid blyton's)
8. lupus
7. agatha christie's
6. other enid blyton's
5. disney's, specially the non-princessy stories, i.e dumbo
4. a tie between little women and garfield
3. lima sekawan (wait..this is also enid blyton's)
2. S T O P

and the winner is....
1. sadler's wells

play i may

2008-08-14T00:10:00.000+07:00

My dad has always said, if you want to buy something, buy something that is productive, i.e: a nice suit. This will make you look better, then it will press the first impression button in others’ head, and the conversation will run well, and perhaps you will get some opportunities from people’s first judgment on you: jobs, scholarship, cover girl.

The story begins since currently I am pretty intrigued with the lush smooth metallic Nintendo DS! I am playing different scenarios that link Nintendo DS with productivity. As far as I can come into is, playing Nintendo will make me relaxed and happy. In such stage of emotion, I can be more productive afterwards. Hummphhh…..

Does that do me a justice?

on food

2008-07-21T15:37:00.003+07:00

Every time I step into grocery stores, my feet would lead me to the processed food and drink, but my eyes would gaze into the fresh veggie and fruit, and also piles of meat, sliced or chopped. I cannot cook. Wait, I have never cooked, but I am sure I have the ability in doing so. Remember the feeling when you see people bike or swim or play the newest Nintendo games, and you knew, you could do it. Time will tell.

Looking at fresh food is a glimmering image for me who is toying amidst the mediocre, instant, and uncreative package of processed meal. It is like a luxury waiting to be apprehended.

I know, or at least I think, I would love to cook. I like reading descriptions about cooking, and dessert making, or drink varying. I love reading recipes, personifications using smell, color, texture, and taste of ingredients. I love eating a unique and well-prepared mixture of dishes, .and I think watching cooking DIY TV shows is alluring. Cooking is an imaginative and creative production, something that would lead me into a gratification.

Someday, luxury will knock on the door. And, I’ll warmly welcome it. But sorry, not now.

No offense for the cooking diva.I am a fan.

2008-07-21T11:38:00.001+07:00

important thought for today:

Nelson Mandela is 90 year old. but he doesn't look like so. hmmm...

radical liberal

2008-07-16T11:43:00.006+07:00

Marilyn Manson, who mixed his name based on aliases of Norma Jean Mortenson (Marilyn Monroe) and Charles Maddox (Charlie Manson, THE mugshot mastermind), is the embellishment of reasons why there is a lot of parental advisory censored music. hether music will directly effect the listener or not, the debate will wind up in between education, and popular culture (or shall I say counter culture) impact upon youth.

I am not a professor in media or pop culture fad. But sure, I have a glimpse of thought, as usual. Charles Maddox who masterminded several inhuman murders had an IQ for about 121, which means average or above average. An intelligent. His followers, as well, were educated and brilliant women. It is pretty disappointing that although they are that educated, that knowledgeable, but able to stab their victims for couples of tens.

First, Charles Maddox (Manson) is the inspiration for Anthony Hopkins in playing his role in The Silence of the Lamb, that if you paid attention, the character never blinked when he talked, just like the real Manson. As being said before, being a high intelligent person, he had strong belief to what he thought and what he said.

Helter Skelter is a Beatles’ song from the White Album which was being interpreted by Manson and became the reason to murder people. On this case, Manson once said, “it is not me who said that. It is the music.”

In that case of course The Beatles was not jailed just because Manson adored them and interpreted the songs freely. Should the blame be put to Kathleen Maddox, Manson’s illegitimate mother who abandoned him not just once?

The disappointment is where we see Manson as intelligent, and also an antiwar protester, a hippie, a liberal, and glorifying “And in the end, the love we take will be equal to the love we make”, would interpret a song appallingly, and lost others’ life.

Many intelligent people are depicted as troubled by the history, Adolf Hitler, Napoleon, Kurt Cobain. What made them different than Jesus Christ, Muhammad, and Sidharta? Emotional Intelligent? Well, the later three surely outpathed their age, intelligent. But, they also had mother and father who supported them and gave them love in a place so called family that perhaps shaped their emotional intelligence or simply, compassion.

Manson and his followers could be liberal, hippies, love lovers, freedom and free sex and free flow of drugs glorifiers, different than Osama’s followers. But, Manson and Osama have two things in common: high intelligent and lack of emotional intelligent, namely compassion.

love is of no use

2008-07-09T11:02:00.002+07:00

people who are falling in love are:

"People who are no longer content to occupy their own space, people who could no longer rely on a new jacket, a bag of grass and an afternoon rerun of The Rockford Files to make them complete," Nick Hornby in About a Boy.

agree?

kids

2008-07-07T14:32:00.000+07:00

Gw ga tau ya. Mungkin karena kali ini gw ngekos di pusat kota, jadi pusat-pusat hiburan yang gw kunjungi yah yang ada di pusat kota. Dan, hiburan-hiburan pusat kota yang paling gampang diakses, paling nyaman, dan paling masuk akal, dan juga paling effortless di puat kota adalah...Mall.

Bangunan yang namanya berasal dari kata Pall-Mall, sebuah permainan di Inggris, emang buanyak banget di Jakarta. Dan emang gw males mikir, jadilah gw pergi ke sono. Kalo gw rajin mikir, gw akan pergi membatik bersama pacar di museum batik, atau bikin keramik bareng pacar di museum keramik, atau kalo gw kaya, mungkin akan sering-sering ke Cafe Batavia buat ngaso setelah muterin museum di seberangnya, ngeliat-liat eks penjara berdarah zaman kolonial.

Tapi ya gw, kalo liburan, males mikir, mau instan. Ternyata, separo lebih dari penduduk Jabodetabek ini yah kayak gw ini. Dasar emang, gak ada edgy-edgy nya. Akibatnya, Mall itu jadi ruamai bangett pas liburan sekolah, tentunya, penuh dengan anak-anak, dari yang masih piyik, sampai yang hampir beranjak gede.

Kalo Mall ramai, konsekuensinya adalah, restroom-nya juga ramai. Cuma, yang gw heran, selama liburan sekolah, restroom yang padet abis Cuma restroom cewek. Pasalnya, di sinilah berjubel, baby sitter, pembantu, PRT, asisten rumah tangga, nenek, tante, sepupu, nyokap-nyokap, sampai cewek yang merupakan pacar seseorang dan lagi pengen ngedeketin keluarga cowoknya, nganterin anak-anak kecil buat memenuhi panggilan alam.

Jelas, kalo lo kenal baik sama gw, pertanyaannya adalah: kenapa restroom CEWEK? Gak peduli tuh anak jenis kelaminnya apa, gak cewek gak cowok, semuanya di bawa ke toilet cewek. Kasian juga kali mbak-mbak yang ngebersihin toilet cewek. Udah kerjaan lebih banyak, gaji sama kayak pembersih toilet cowok.
Emang COWOK ga bisa apa ngurus nih anak-anak yang berisiknya bukan maen kalo di restroom? Yang ada, cowok-cowok or mostly bapak-bapak Cuma nungguin aje di depan restroom, megangin tuh dorongan bayi.

“Aku tunggu di sini ya, Ma,”
”Oke,Pa.”

enak banget ngomongnya.

Hmm...kalo emang cowok-cowok di Indonesia emang setebel itu egonya atau emang gak mau berkotor-kotor ria, bolehlah di mall di kasih toilet khusus anak-anak (kayak di Senayan City, walaupun itu cuma ada di satu lantai, dan ga berfungsi maksimal). Biar adil, biar toilet cewek gak penuh.

Loh, jadi masalah lo bukan tentang feminisme, Vi?
Bukan, kali ini emang tentang kenyamanan egois gw, namanya juga sebagai pengunjung mall.

Gara-gara pengalaman ini, selama masa liburan sekolah, gw sering banget tereak-tereak, ”I Hate Kids!!”

Yah, mudah-mudahan yang di atas mengerti konsepnya kenapa gw teriak gitu.

Karena gw masih pengen punya anak, kok.

For a Stranger I Barely Know Today:

2008-06-30T14:30:00.002+07:00

“Build your dreams to the stars above
But when you need someone to love,
Dont go to strangers darling, come to me.

Play with fire get your fingers burn,
And when theres no place for you to turn,
Dont go to strangers darling, come to me.

For, when you hear a call to follow your heart,
Youll follow your heart I know.
Ive been through it all, for Im an old hand,
And Ill understand if you go! So,
Make your mark for your friends to see
But when you need more than company
Dont go to strangers darling, come to me,”

Amy Winehouse with Paul Weller

And I hope I can be a darling too, someday.

today is a gift

2008-06-27T00:19:00.000+07:00

Dear diary,

My present might become past
Then me as a past could bother someone’s present
I don’t have a past
Yet why bothered?
Because I am the present
Present cannot simply be glad
Just because it is indeed a gift,
What about the gifts before this gift?
Could those gifts still be remembered?
Still be felt?
Still be pondered?
Well, I still remember my first special gift,
A complete Indonesian-English-Indonesian dictionary
Should this natural temper
Be happened with
Human
‘
s
heart
?

should I have a past?

stop this train

2008-05-26T23:56:00.000+07:00

Something mightly peculiar is going on with me. I just had an American Holiday this Monday, when most of the people in Indonesia did work. It pumped me up a bit, remembering the last four months had been an array of endlessly swampful routines. There are times when all you need is a pause when everybody is not pausing. A difference that you are not moving in the system for a day. I always chirp in my head, I wish I could hop off to Lago and its iceberg, lost in Tokyo, heating up in Timbuktu. Perhaps next time.

i do not love

2008-05-12T14:12:00.000+07:00

Falling in love with reality is oh so hard
Let me fall with things
In my imaginations
Of how you should be

vindictively smart

2008-05-09T11:15:00.003+07:00

Yesterday, I went to Hard Rock FM to have a debate (yea, borrring.) on “We Should Eliminate the Big and Beautiful Slogan from This Earth”. It was pretty surreal for me, since..well..the topic IS surreal. Is the slogan killing you ? no. so, why should we eliminate that? (wait. They said it should be a FUN debate!). so, I tried to be fun. And, most of you know, it is hard for me to be fun. My definition of having a fun conversation is Vincent and Desta Club Eighties FUN fun. I could not do that, for Moses sake!

So, well, I think the debate went on okay. We had Santi Nuri Dharmawan, my fellow Chinese bestie who doesn’t like Chinese guys, and thinks that calling her “ci” or “enci” is absolutely atrocious! Santi was in the same group with a guy from FHM magazine (this guy has the physical character of Lurino’s and brain like Rulli, sorry Sisie…I have to put your guys’ names here). Both of them were in the affirmative team and they are both rather…skinny…eughhh…what’s the meaning of the meaning, sih?

Meanwhile, while Santi and the Lurino prodigy were doing their casebuilding, my teammate hadn’t come…yet. I made a suspicious guess that he must be rather “chubby” I may say. But, then again, negative thinking is bad. Then, came this new rapper (he’d rather be called as a hip hop musician, familiar with the Timbaland guy, non?). He’s J-Flo, which reminds me of J-Co, or even J-Lo. And of course, I don’t know who he is. But, apparently, Melissa Karim (the host), said that his new single has been there for weeks in Hard Rock FM charts. And, when I heard the song, it’s not bad at all. And I think he has a pretty nice show muscles (my bf said, that show muscles consist of torso, abdomens, as such). However, his overtly bubbly personality turned Santi off.

So, I’m in the team who doesn’t agree to eliminate the slogan “big is beautiful” from the earth, we defended that with absolutely absurd reasons, of course. Like…

- from the point of view of the freedom to choose your own body shape: gee….who could choose their body shapes???!!! (ok, too much exclamation marks)

- from the point of view of health: nobody will stupidly increase their weight the minute they hear the slogan “big is beautiful”

- from the point of view of image: J-Flo (whose real name is actually Joshua) said that image comes from the word “imago”, and if we could see the statues and the pictures from Roman empire or from the ancient Greece, we could see that it’s all about humongous size. So, image is relative, and we could change the image in the society. Kudos for J-Flo, he has some brain apparently.

And the jury said that the argument was weak, because face it! We now live in a mean world, not in the ancient world. Aw…aw…..And we have to suit in that image. (yes! we had a jury, who was the script editor of Pulau Hantu 1 and 2, DO, MBA, and many other great-selling movies recently, so you know where such judgment comes from)

However, overall…my team won. Simply because of this newbee hip hop artiste was freakin smart and witty and outspoken and bubbly. Not because of me..well…who am I anyway…

So, we got three vouchers to buy J-Co Donuts, and the opponent got…also J-Co Donuts vouchers…yaiy! What’s the point of competing then?

What I learned from yesterday were:

- Melissa Karim’s weight is 42!!! Geezzz….. I would love to have that weight, plus several kilos more.

- J-Flo said, in order to make his album sold out, he suited his body into his target market, not the public. So, guys, remember….. there’s a difference between target market and public.

- I feel that the topic was not important, because I feel secure about myself, except about the lower parts of my body, and I’m working on it.

- Entertainment industry is cruelll. I wonder why Jame decides to go there. Then again, it’s Jame’s habitate naturalez.

- I think I met smart people, and at the same time, vindictive people. And, they work in the empire so called M E D I A.

wrong entertainment

2008-04-10T14:39:00.004+07:00

I just moved to a new kosan
I added more stuff than the one I had when I was in college
But still, I don’t bring tivo
So I bought two magazines yesterday
One of them was girlfriend Indonesia
Instead of making me delightful to see full colored pages, this magazine made me think even more for the un-edited stuffs. (Tons of stuffs!) that they had.

Just that
I just hate it when a published magazine can have the same mistakes as my unpublished works.

insensitive indonesian

2008-04-10T14:20:00.002+07:00

Boss (B): If Americans come here to see how average Indonesians live, they will be very thankful fo their condition now, about how they live now.

Me (M): Who are average Indonesians?

B: would you look at that food vendors or people who own small restaurants?

M: Oh, you’ll be shocked that they actually have a lot of money. Some of them even could pay for their children college fee abroad or they have big houses in their kampong

B: Well, look like a rich Indonesian talking to me. Just like my girlfriend when she said that it was always too much when I tip people at restaurants

B: So, what do you think as an averagely very fine salary for Indonesian?

M: 5 thousand bucks a month,at least. somebody pretty important in oil and gas company or somebody who has a very popular restaurant kiosks

B: So you think 5,000 bucks a month can get you to study abroad? (with a redden face)

M: Don’t blame me. That’s what happened in Indonesia, they may look filthy, but the have money.

(I really wanna show the boss some pictures of Soto Bangkong pundits or Sate Babi pundits, or even some meatball sellers on the street, and how damn rich they really are!)
I didn’t say all. Just some.