It was a chill night. Bf just got back from his business trip and for some reason I didn’t speak to him at all. Me and silence do not correlate to each other, seeing this bf drove his car further from my place. “Why are you so silent?” I knew where this conversation leads to. With a good ladylike manner I answered, “Nothing.” Ha. Then, he drove rather far away.
“We can go to Taman Menteng,” I said.
Abandoning my wish, he strolled through road to Erasmus Huis. I remembered our favorite place near there, Trattoria. Okay perhaps he wanted a comfy place to talk and a good pizza plus free after dine in baileys! Yaiyy! Wrong. He parked his car beside a large vacant land.
“What do you want from this relationship?” he asked
Why so serious? I’m so tired I wanna go home. Should I answer?
“Ha? Uh? What?”
“Why do you still want to be with me?” He asked again, try to clarify, but I think those two questions had different meanings.
Why did you ask ?
“Why….?”
“Just answer. Please.”
Then he got out from the car, lighted his cig and reached for a small bendable bench, put it on the grass beside my door, and sat there. From up here (his car is a minivan), he was literally on my knee.
Okay, here we go. What a tricky question, such a prick. Why am I still with you? Umm, what will girls say? because…I feel comfortable with you, I need laughs, you need me, definitely. I like to share…you know…our needs. Be prepared for the best and the worst. The worst would be he’s breaking up with me with that typical passive aggressive question and the best would be he’s proposing me. Hey, he was (at least seemed like) kneeling!
“…Because I like spending time with you…”
“For how long?”
How do I know, damn. I wanna go home yada yada yada, let’s kiss and make up. To make this fast (I always believe, when it hurts and lame, better do it quick), I jerked this off.
“For…ever…”
“In what form?”
Oh, here we go when men become complicated. This is tricky. In what form my butt! Are you talking about what kind of social contract? I wanna go home. I f I said, I’m okay with any form, he’ll think I’m not taking us seriously. If I said marriage, God forbid, he would successfully trap me to say it first.
“In what form, I don’t know,” rolling my eyes, exhausted.
“Well, listen,” he stepped on his cig butt and put a serious melancholic face.
Here we go here we go, he’s gonna say it. What will I say..um…perhaps, Oh baby, what a sweet of you, but I’m not ready.
“Honey, I love spending time with you. But, to take it to forever, some things need fixing. Like you, would you please speak in a more soft intonation (referring to the unmentioned catfight) and not cornering me around, more importantly, do not always ask W H Y?”
But, WHY? What’s wrong with why?
“Wh…y?”
He continued, “If I said something, would you please don’t ask WHY and just enjoy whatever ride we’re having?”
I remembered EQ Puradiredja’s tweet, “Nothin' you can do about it.. Its too strong to be denied. Don't you try to understand it.. Just relax and enjoy the ride.. :)” Alrite honey, I got it I got it. Could we just go home, My Name is Earl DVDs are waiting. Dang, the long ride was just for a very simple proposition and suggestion.
“Ok.”
There you go, no engaged lady for that night. I was just having a wishful thinking. But at least I know, he’s in a better mood and giving soft cheekkisses. He played OASIS Live Acoustic Playlist before, and now he intentionally hit the Tony Bennett duet playlist. I preferred OASIS better so I could sing along with it, but Tony Bennett duo showed he’s having beautiful butterflies in his head. Much better. Hey, nothing is better than a guy who’s recovering from a bad mood. They’re as soft as sheepskin.