Vanity

I woke up in daze after what's supposed to be a power nap. Piles and piles of schedule from the weeks before left me in sleep deprivation, consolidated with three days without my eyecream. That forced a beauty sleep to be slipped into a busy happy hour Friday. 

I got a dinner plan that night at 8, snoozed my alarm at 8, then automatically opened my inbox, a latent habit of mine which is not very great. Apparently most of the attendees would be late. Good. I changed clothes and dabbed some darkhorse shadows on my eyes. 

The dinner place where we wanted to go was always packed. But apparently, my friend, being a busy banker who should assess credit approval for the mid level companies in Indonesia, matching their performance with the green compliance, and who just got back from her 10-day business training in Hong Kong forgot to book the place and thinking we were one of the "it" clans in Jakarta who could just snatch any table in this city. No, we were not. 

today was lovely, watched movies, played some music, blogged, re-blogged, blog-hopping. tomorrow we shall work to pay for days like today. le sigh.

Mom said, she almost married another man, and not my father. She would say, "If I had married that man, you wouldn't exist in this world. How would you feel?". How could I feel if I were not born? If I were not born, would I still be exist? It would be funny though if half of my personality from mum comes in the kid she would've had, if she had married that man. And half of my personality is in a waiting room somewhere in the solar system.

Somebody asked,

"Is it okay to have an affair with a married person as long as his/her spouse doesn’t know?"

I answered,

"Is it okay to corrupt your customers’ money as long as they don’t notice?"

Why do you need other people to perceive something in order to determine the value of your act?

I Want Don Draper Full Treatment

As you can see on my sidebar, I am mad for Mad Men. And, let's be clear, for mundane reasons: the costumes and Don Draper (vintage clothes and men!). But the story line is also maddening because it feels just like a tinge when you watched it, but what you know is you're already flooded with your own tears or blood after watching each episode. Kudos for January Jones for portraying unbearable lightness of being perfectly.

Now, it's been too long since the third season - finale of Mad Men. I thought it was THE end. But this nymag article just made my day. Can't wait to see Sterling Draper Cooper Pryce MADvertising agency with the dapper Mr. Draper in it.

And below are Mad Men’s spurious comic-strip origins from Vanity Fair

"It’s a little known fact—so little-known as to be essentially untrue—that the popular AMC series Mad Men is based on an obscure comic strip from the early 1960s. The strip, Those Madison Avenue Men!, was an almost painful attempt to exploit its era’s Zeitgeist and never quite caught on. At its peak, in the spring of 1961, it was syndicated in only eight newspapers; it would run for a mere 43 weeks before being canceled. The final straw may have been a week’s worth of off-color strips in which the characters pitched a hypothetical Thalidomide account. (The comic’s creators would have no better luck with their subsequent strip, the civil-rights-themed Li’l Martin, before finally hitting it big with Heathcliff.)"








and...Mad Men creator and executive producer's desk (from Vanity Fair)

lunch convo

We talked about relationshiz. It means, your relationship when it looks like a shizzz. I asked my girl friend, “Have you ever had a crush on somebody else while you’re in exclusive relationship with your current bf?” She said, ”I’ve never had guts to start exploring my curiosity over some guys if I knew that wouldn’t end up well. And since I’m in a relationship now, I just know, those crushes won’t end well.”

-Pak Sapardi, kami tidak mau jadi Hujan Bulan Juni-

ticket(s)

Act 1
Scene 1

(A sunny day. A couple celebrates their third anniversary and passes by Bunderan HI. It is a bright day with all Bunderan HI water hoses working, sparking a complete round to the sky. Suddenly a cop stops the car and said the bf didn’t flash the car sign lamp)

She : Don’t give them money. Ask for the ticket.

(Bf climbs down and the cop escorts him to their checkpoint. Gf doesn’t believe that he will go for the ticket, so she also go out and leave the car. After a few word and half an hour battles with the cops, they get into the car again)

She : Good that we didn’t pay and got the ticket
Him : Honey, if you’d just let me give my joker innocent face, we could’ve escaped that. And if you hadn’t interrupted, I could have just paid them 20k rupiahs. And they gave us the red ticket, not the blue one. It means that we should go to the court.
She : No. Ticket is good.

(Then they have their anniversary lunch)

Act 2, Scene 1 and Act 3, Scene 1

(Two days later and three days later gf rides with two different people and both of them get stopped by cops. Gf doesn’t do anything knowing the “get me a ticket negotiation” puts heaps of heat on her head, hence double briberies)

Act 4
Scene 1

Him : Let’s meet up. I’m going to give you the ticket receipt and please come to the court on behalf of me.
She : WTH? (putting this into her mind: being a law abiding citizen is a turn off)

sniff

Luncheon with rose-bouquet-tea in a blue china, poached egg, breakfast sausage, savory waffles, and grapefruit slices. This accompanied by conversation on rose dripping boughs or about the new wallpaper; a stained blue Victorian which looks perfectly worn out. Nah, that’s just in my Anne of Green Gables induced fantasy. My lunch yesterday unlikely came with a practical tip (from an often-sniffed-by-the-pregnant-wife-husband) of how to get rid of cigarette stink from your body. This accompanied by a bowl of cap cay and pineapple et orange juice.

So, here we go:

1. Smoke in open air; smoke stink will stay bolder in an indoor room, most likely if you’re sweating. So, try not to sweat while smoking. Wind also helps ‘sweeping’ the smoke away, thus open air.

2. Wash your mouth with cookies, water, and then some peppermint candy after that. Food helps a lot to reduce the smoke stink.

3. Also clean your nostrils, either with tissue or water. Brown nicotine residue usually stays there because sometimes you also exhale the smoke through your nose.

4. No smoking in a room, car, or any other places that easily invite the pregnant wife’s sniffing cyborg ability.

5. Shower. Duh.

This is so random, I know.

my typical morning

Me: we turn right at Bunderan HI

Taxi driver: Oh, you mean Cokroaminoto street

yawn (some drivers say Cokroaminoto street some say Sutan Syahrir street some say Imam Bonjol, all I know is the street lays right to Nikko Hotel) So, by not negating or approving, I said…

Me: We turn right to the street beside Nikko Hotel

Taxi driver: yes. It IS Cokroaminoto (some drivers would say, “Yes, like what I said, it IS Sultan Syahrir-or Imam Bonjol-)

Time for me to google or simply ask, so I wouldn’t have mornings so typical anymore.

wishful thinking

It was a chill night. Bf just got back from his business trip and for some reason I didn’t speak to him at all. Me and silence do not correlate to each other, seeing this bf drove his car further from my place. “Why are you so silent?” I knew where this conversation leads to. With a good ladylike manner I answered, “Nothing.” Ha. Then, he drove rather far away.

“We can go to Taman Menteng,” I said.

Abandoning my wish, he strolled through road to Erasmus Huis. I remembered our favorite place near there, Trattoria. Okay perhaps he wanted a comfy place to talk and a good pizza plus free after dine in baileys! Yaiyy! Wrong. He parked his car beside a large vacant land.

“What do you want from this relationship?” he asked

Why so serious? I’m so tired I wanna go home. Should I answer?

“Ha? Uh? What?”

“Why do you still want to be with me?” He asked again, try to clarify, but I think those two questions had different meanings.

Why did you ask ?

“Why….?”

“Just answer. Please.”

Then he got out from the car, lighted his cig and reached for a small bendable bench, put it on the grass beside my door, and sat there. From up here (his car is a minivan), he was literally on my knee.

Okay, here we go. What a tricky question, such a prick. Why am I still with you? Umm, what will girls say? because…I feel comfortable with you, I need laughs, you need me, definitely. I like to share…you know…our needs. Be prepared for the best and the worst. The worst would be he’s breaking up with me with that typical passive aggressive question and the best would be he’s proposing me. Hey, he was (at least seemed like) kneeling!

“…Because I like spending time with you…”

“For how long?”

How do I know, damn. I wanna go home yada yada yada, let’s kiss and make up. To make this fast (I always believe, when it hurts and lame, better do it quick), I jerked this off.

“For…ever…”

“In what form?”

Oh, here we go when men become complicated. This is tricky. In what form my butt! Are you talking about what kind of social contract? I wanna go home. I f I said, I’m okay with any form, he’ll think I’m not taking us seriously. If I said marriage, God forbid, he would successfully trap me to say it first.

“In what form, I don’t know,” rolling my eyes, exhausted.

“Well, listen,” he stepped on his cig butt and put a serious melancholic face.

Here we go here we go, he’s gonna say it. What will I say..um…perhaps, Oh baby, what a sweet of you, but I’m not ready.

“Honey, I love spending time with you. But, to take it to forever, some things need fixing. Like you, would you please speak in a more soft intonation (referring to the unmentioned catfight) and not cornering me around, more importantly, do not always ask W H Y?”

But, WHY? What’s wrong with why?

“Wh…y?”

He continued, “If I said something, would you please don’t ask WHY and just enjoy whatever ride we’re having?”

I remembered EQ Puradiredja’s tweet, “Nothin' you can do about it.. Its too strong to be denied. Don't you try to understand it.. Just relax and enjoy the ride.. :)” Alrite honey, I got it I got it. Could we just go home, My Name is Earl DVDs are waiting. Dang, the long ride was just for a very simple proposition and suggestion.

“Ok.”

There you go, no engaged lady for that night. I was just having a wishful thinking. But at least I know, he’s in a better mood and giving soft cheekkisses. He played OASIS Live Acoustic Playlist before, and now he intentionally hit the Tony Bennett duet playlist. I preferred OASIS better so I could sing along with it, but Tony Bennett duo showed he’s having beautiful butterflies in his head. Much better. Hey, nothing is better than a guy who’s recovering from a bad mood. They’re as soft as sheepskin.

blahgirls.com

John Mayer's Diary Found

a

most of the male characters in my sentimental side of life (read: romance) have names started with letter a, followed with d:

adi***
adr***
adr*****
adi*****
and, my dearest
ade aka adi**

life is so funny

DC

Dane Cook replied my email. A documentation of a fanmail.
Gw merasa kayak ABG lagi. Hoho.

Me:

Hi Dane,


My name is (insert my full name), from indoensia.

1. i am following you on twitter
2. i made several replies
3. i wonder whether you ever received it or not, because somehow if i don't follow a person in twitter, and that person replies me, i won't be able to see the reply.
4. So, here you go....my replies for your tweets so far. (and i listed my tweets)

Again,
Happy Birthday!

-me-



Dane:

saw them all -- just get a ton ... KEEP SENDING and THANK YOU!!!


DC


Hahah.

island caretaker

some of you know arief aziz, some of you don't.
well, here i fully support him to take a leap in his life
to be an island caretaker
watch the video and give him some stars, folks!

when i wake up

i would shower and dress and open the door and walk down the stairs and i would meet tiny men who guard our residences playing guitar. And i would walk the small path which has just recently ashpalted, together with a traditional market odor blended with traditional treats people buy for breakfast. a brown sugar coated sticky rice, deep fried cassava, and coconut milk stirred rice. I would stand on the pavement and looking for an empty cab. My gesture would be the same as the young men, girls, mothers who stand on the pavement, stretch their arms and point their index finger, waiting to be picked up by cars which need the second or the third passanger or both within theirs.

And, everytime i get to get a cab, some of them are still standing outside.Some see their friends get lucky, already hitchhiked to an airconned car. I wonder whether they wished to be me who can control which cab I want and do not have to stand still for two hours just to get a ten thousand rupiah.

Just exactly what I feel when I see women buying a Dior Saddle bag.
When that kind of feeling vents out, remember it's all just a mental slavery.

"Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds. I've no fear for atomic energy cause none of them can stop the time," said Bob Marley, Two most powerful sentences I have ever heard.

my baby

For you who are questioning, what happened to my plan buying Nintendo DS, well, I kind of altered the plan into buying a sleek all touch screen mobile phone. No, not iPhone 2.0. But, LG Viewty KU9900. It featured 5 megapixel camera, with DivX video recorder, Google package, HDSPA, 3G, you name it. It was so flashy that the video was crystal clear as well as the sound. And someone robbed my two weeks baby two days ago while I was inside a bajaj.

My personal belief is, whatever the reason is, stealing one person’s possession away is intolerable. Whether it is about your phone or your life. Whether you are poor or not, stealing or robbing or killing, is unjustifiable.

I am not planning to drown myself too long. When will iPhone 2.0 arrive in Indonesia?

wrath. i am a kid losing her popsicle. they took away my dance classes. you name it: dance show, hip hop, R and B night, belly dancing, all. as a replacement, they made classes with wieght lifting movements. What? sexiness and movement coordination is overrated now??
ah well, i am digging Joshua Radin.

women pay

We learned from our infamous cultural classes, that we have to embrace, at least know the concept of feminism. We learned, and yes we cursed guys for enjoying the patriarchal system, their male gaze, and for departing the sexes into two binary oppositions (thanks Mr. Edmund Burke). We blessed the philosophy that women need equal chance as what men have. But, did we mean it?

Most of my heterosexual female friends have bigger money, bigger salary, and bigger inheritance than their male partners. When the bill comes, and it’s time to pay, unlike any other typical romantic imageries, the female ones pay more than fifty percent of the bill. What do you think? I think it’s is realistic, and it does happen, in fact, in most regions in Indonesia. More women now do have bigger salary than men, or bigger money from paddy harvesting, even.

For most of the time, we are lured by diamond advertisement, clings of wine glasses, happy faces that show excitement, the male counterpart is buying you a diamond stud! And in all media, we see that men pay. Look at our sinetrons, advertisement, novels, television, reality show, gossip show, even from our parents’ mouth. But the trouncing reality has different story. There are women who pay more than their men. I am not saying about the equality anymore, instead, about women’s superiority in financial bit.

In a society which runs both paradigms, feminism and patriarchy, women who already have no problem with equality and now being more than men will feel these tiny weenie feelings:

1.Why do I have to pay?
2.Is he with me just because of my money?
3.Why can’t he pay?
4.I am not supposed to split my money
5.It’s okay to be like this
6.I want to be in a conventional relationship
7.I hate lame guys
8.I don’t like it that my boyfriend is a cheap ass but I like him more for his other loads
9.I have no problem as long as he also treated me conventionally (a.k.a treat you)some other times.
10. etc. and etc.

Have you ever experienced this bummy mushy feeling?

play i may

My dad has always said, if you want to buy something, buy something that is productive, i.e: a nice suit. This will make you look better, then it will press the first impression button in others’ head, and the conversation will run well, and perhaps you will get some opportunities from people’s first judgment on you: jobs, scholarship, cover girl.

The story begins since currently I am pretty intrigued with the lush smooth metallic Nintendo DS! I am playing different scenarios that link Nintendo DS with productivity. As far as I can come into is, playing Nintendo will make me relaxed and happy. In such stage of emotion, I can be more productive afterwards. Hummphhh…..

Does that do me a justice?

important thought for today:

Nelson Mandela is 90 year old. but he doesn't look like so. hmmm...