"All parents tend to be more conservative for their kids than they would for themselves, simply because, as parents, they share risks more than rewards. If your eight year old son decides to climb a tall tree, or your teenage daughter decides to date the local bad boy, you won't get a share in the excitement, but if your son falls, or your daughter gets pregnant, you'll have to deal with the consequences." from "How To Do What You Love"

about race, religion, color, ethnicity, and so on... It is all in our mind. Freedom of expression defenders would say, expression will not harm others, but what you do to others will. However, I would love to imagine, when the world is sterile, say people one hundred percent will not harm others physically, mentally, anything tangible, everyone upholds human rights, no war and no blood shed, what is left is what we have in our mind. If we think that basically Papuan people are slaves, but we refrain from slaving them around right now... I don't know maybe because the law says you shouldn't, because we don't want them to attack or us back, what would we do with that inert hatred in a sterile world? When all of our limbs are immobilized and human race communicates through language of the soul, no physical contact, what is left other than our thought? That is why I've always thought, the regulation "do not harm others" is for imperfect society, the society of "at least", society which is only responsible and only regulates what is tangible, what we can sense and absorb with our five senses. Of course we shouldn't regulate what people have in minds and put the Big Brother in everyone's brain. That is why government promotes education, etc to improve common agreeable term of what is good. To hold each of us responsible, even if we are not being watched by the law. But, Haidt said, "Reason doesn’t work like a judge or teacher, impartially weighing evidence or guiding us to wisdom. It works more like a lawyer or press secretary, justifying our acts and judgments to others." Yes, I am now still questioning the use of education and reason, honestly. Btw, if our mind still think what is different is bad, what happens is not genuine respect. It is, instead, talking behind people's back and progressing as a society in snail km per hour.

They say, if you love someone, you have to let em go. Now, where could I sue for insurance if this method doesn't work?

Btw, I've broken several DeStorm's commandments in this hilarious video:

Love Letter to a Friend on Her Wedding Day

“So, what do you think about her husband?” a friend asked me.

Bandung, July 14th 2012. We were sitting on abandoned chairs, sipping delish beer from one glass, and some, smoked skinny cigs. It was almost the end of the depressingly beautiful wedding of my friend. It was so beautiful, it’s depressing. In a good way.

“I don’t know her ex-es much, but all I know since she was with this one, her blog’s background color turned white, from black. Less drama, more footprints in life.”

I am not her best friend, I am not her casual friend. All I know, she’s always been there. She encouraged me to blog (my first blog was born in FISIP internet café when we skipped a class), we pulled all nighter for Children Literature essays, she’s a deadliner because she was very good at it she didn’t need much time. We had on-the-bed conversations in college, and after-work conversations when we started working, until one day she decided to move to another country. But every time she’s here, she’s there for me. She was my emergency contact when things got rough with my ex, and she was there waiting for me on the stairs to my place just to make sure that I was alright.

Her mind is so whimsical, small part of it you can see on her Alice in the Wonderland left upperarm tattoo. I had always thought that this chirpy happy go lucky gal with some dark twist would have a DIY-type of wedding. I was wrong, the whole occasion and the bride were so poised. She’s no longer that girl who needed my ears, sometime my advice, for wrong turn of events. She’s no longer a person who didn’t know what she wanted, or let bad things happen to her. She was in control, content, and wise. I wondered where this came from. Just kidding, Sisie. When I saw her standing waiting for Yann with Chrisye’s “Untukku” background song, I saw a lady whom was not carried away by haphazard of options, instead, steadfastly chose what her heart wants. “Le coeur veut ce que le coeur veut”.

Sisie, when I saw your first dance to John Lennon’s “Real Love”, it's breathtaking to see that you’ve come this far. I was so happy for you that the bruises from the past and wisdom among the way sharpened the way you stand in life. You looked so beautiful in that red kebaya with la belle epoque hairdo. You deserved every second of it, Sisie. And I pray, every second in years you will be with Yann will be even more than that.

Congratulations Sisie and Yann, bisous.

   from this (post-on-bed-convo, college year)

   to this!

   (photos by Andrei Widen a.k.a @gonetotimbuktu)

    Sisie, waiting for Yann. "Untukku" on the background

   
    First Dance: "Real Love"

    we've come a long way ;)

    

    

M. Ward

hold time;
the song's mood is indeed like an endless reverie

One Fine Day

The last one week has been a tiring week, work-wise. This Saturday I decided to end the week productively by going to the office in the morning and doing the things I like for the rest of the day; pointless conversation with dear friends, taking photos, going to museum.

Bangkok First Timer

succinct post for split-second thought:
My first day in BKK, yaiy!
Gotta love Bangkok, because:

1. Their 'national' color is purple (or at least that's my conclusion from seeing Thai Airways, Siam Commercial Bank, and Siam Paragon Mall color palate). Purple is my favorite color. Ergo, nice choice, royalties of Thailand.

2. Maybe, there's a slight possibility that I'd go play for my own team if I stayed longer here. All those pretty and sexy women!

3. Easy public transportation and over the street pedestrian walk. Moreover, most of them are connected to big malls and hotel. Very convenient and people can walk! Oh, things you can't do in JKT. I wonder what it takes to make this kind of public facility in JKT. Vote for the capable governor this July, people.

4. Women can basically wear anything without getting verbal harassment or degrading stare or accused by the politicians afterwards.

5. What is you fav Danish biscuit? Mine is the vanilla ring. BKK sells one separate box, which consists of only those lovely rings. You don't say??!! :D


For point number 3 and 4, Indonesian more superior, average real GDP Growth 2011-2015 compared to Thailand clearly doesn't translate much to our public policy development.
Based on OECD's South East Asian Economic Outlook, IND's is 6.6, meanwhile THAI's is 5.2. This GDP superiority was also combusted by Gita Wirjawan in TEDxJKT talk few months ago.



Tiring day so far, let's see what tomorrow brings.

Gili Trawangan

by @santinuri

by @santinuri

by @santinuri

by @santinuri

my favorite part - napping on the beach and saw this sky when I woke up, all sun-baked, laying on the warm sand

pasir putih, cilacap

behind the sea food restaurant where we ate, goats were ready to rake leftover coconut meat from the shells. The cooks used coconut shells when they grilled the fish. Don't ask me how

chickens were there too

crossing over

the owner of this vespa said he drove this vespa to many off-roads. He just got back from Makassar riding this vintage vehicle

giant sword

lazycat

:)

am gonna push it some more

Baru balik dari Gili Trawangan, love the island. Salah satu highlight-nya adalah boat umum Trawangan Indah masang playlist yang oke (Marley, baby!) dari Bangsal (Lombok) ke Gili T. Apalagi pas lagu A La La La La Long. Boat ini isinya ibu-ibu paruh baya yang baru belanja kebutuhan pokok di Lombok, bapak-bapak mungkin pada baru pulang ngaji, pemuda-pemudi Gili , dua turis bule, dan gw & temen gw (turis dari Jakarta). 


Jadi, pas lirik ini diulang-ulang, "Girl I want to make you sweat/ Sweat till you cant sweat no more/ And if you cry/ Im gonna push it, push it push it some more" akupun tak sanggup memandang ibu2 yang ngangguk-ngangguk to the beat di hadapankyu. Jadinya, gw menyanyikan lagu P Project ini di kepala gw. Ayo, siapa yang masih ingattt? 


"Anjingku pemburu dari Jerman/ blasteran kangguru dan doberman/ anjing penjaga yang aman dari setiap ganggguaaaaann/ lingkungan keamanan, maling jemuraaaaaaaan, atau yang minta sumbangan uang/ ataupun kucing edan, yay!


Anjingkupun suka pusing/ pusing bila dibanting/ matanya juling/ dan ingin gigit gigit akuuuu/


cepat minta tolong/ cepat minta tolong long long long long long u yeah/


hehehe, gak googling loh gw ini.


Cukup membantu memang ingatan masa kecil ini, mengurangi rasa bersalah gw di depan ibu bapak haji. Soale kalo gak dialihkan, gw merasa ibu-ibu ini bisa menembus piktor gw seolah-olah jidat gw transparan :)


Anyway, it's so good to be away for three days and put away our gadgets (yes, locked in safe deposit box with 7-number password). When I got back to Jakarta, turned my BB on, I felt huge urge to go to some place else and not to care about the world. Tapi, hidup itu keras, Bung!


zzzzzz....

let's list sad things:


live alone, no one greets you when you're home

when you couldn't relate to royksopp, fixing your mind to your job even though they said, "forget about the past, the future, things that bother you. we need you here!"

when you start to believe that polygamy/polyandry IS natural

when you can't enjoy the moment (now)

when friends meet to compete, not to converse

when you know you're in the wrong direction but you can't stop

when the one whom you want to spend afterhour drinks with lives thousands miles away

when you don't like the city you live in

"stranger (you'd love to know) - comfort zone - stranger (you don't care about)" phase

shitty day deserves good music at night




Dominant Legs - "Make Time For The Boy" from stereogum on Vimeo.

 A cute gay guy played straight on the screen

Got the best smile so far I’ve seen

He writes, plays, directs, and other things in between

Besides all that, he seems very keen

Then this one night I chatted on my slumber

Some time after I watched “What’s Your Number?”

My gay friend poked me with this reminder

Which made me wanna bite Chris Evans’ shoulder

“Do you remember this guy from somewhere?

I’m not sure whether you are aware

But that hot gay took your seats at Q! Film Festival, I swear

You were pissed but didn’t give him thin air.”

zwarte piet gets his coal from...

Prabumulih. (maybe)

Prabumulih is a small city, located 30 km from Palembang. To reach Palembang, there's only one main road. Now, if you remember your geography lesson, there are many gas and oil drilling, as well as coal mining in Sumatra. Some of the resources are drilled and mined in the neighboring cities of Prabumulih, e.g: Lahat, Muara Enim, & Ogan Hilir (There is also one interisting city nearby, Sekayu, which is also a title of N.H. Dini’s book -but that’s a different discussion-). 

You can find characteristics of sad interaction between globalization and local values here: traditional houses which do not serve their old function anymore, some people still build rumah panggung, but the open air room below the house is longer used to tie up their cattle, instead dedicated for closed rooms. More views: Abandoned rice fields, ruko-ruko with pastel or bright paint, newly built mayor offices among modern yet unmaintained houses, sleek cars collided with becak and ojek strolling in front of the traditional market, no chain restaurant besides CFC, and absolutely nothing is going on after 7 PM - absolutely a killer for an urban girl-.

The people that I met literally said, “We are sorry, there’s no entertainment center here, the city is so small.” They don’t need to be sorry about that. What they have to be sorry about is the number of their main road, connecting Prabumulih to Palembang. They only have ONE main road. The definition of main road here is a road broad enough for two lanes transporting big trucks carrying coal on each side. Kalo di Jakarta kecipratan air pas hujan biasanya dari motor, di Prabumulih kesemburnya dari truk batu bara. Hard core. 

Regulation has it that the trucks can only go at night or dawn, but of course regulation goes out of the window, violations happen in daylight and are acceptable. Btw, these truck drivers have to drive about 80 km a day to bring the coal back and forth for Rp. 100.000,00 per return trip (people sipping 50.000 rupiah caramel macchiato, feeling guilty yet?*). There are so many trucks that use the street, in fact those were my main view for the last four days. The main road deteriorates, creates frequent congestion. 


South Sumatra government had a plan to make more roads exclusively for the coal trucks, but they postponed it because they prioritized Sea Games. Citizen got mad and protested the government through Facebook (yes, they print Facebook comments on Prabumulih Pos), mass media, and other channels. The once elected governor may not probably be re-elected. His previous campaign program was free education (free basic operational cost, but people still have to pay for some extra cost) for students in elementary school to vocational school. That sounded good, but now, people stuck in traffic for 8 hours for 30 km distance (4 km/hour speed !!), people are mad at him. The only logical reaction, no?

As someone who lives in Jakarta, what makes traffic jam still bearable is because I can meet my friends or family afterwards, sometimes with fun entertainment, lots of choices, lots of channels for expression. In Prabumulih, a city where nothing much happens, major static traffic almost everyday in a week shouldn't be their niche, or entertainment, or however you call it.  The question is, does the coal go for Indonesian people? How about the tax from the mining companies? Does the local government distribute the money wisely for their citizen? Because, if the government uses the money wisely how come  an 8 hour congestion is a routine? 

In short, this post can be summed up to the F word to whoever is responsible for the traffic. I missed my 1 PM flight, and got the only 3 seats left for Palembang-Jakarta route. If I hadn't got the seats, the only seats available were for after Christmas. To see the bright side of this experience, now I understand why "I'll be Home for Christmas" is always on repeat at holiday season. 

Now, rewind to my Jakarta-Palembang flight before I stepped on Prabumulih; my seatmates were guys from mining industries, one was a geologist (around 27 year old), the other one was in senior position (in his late thirties). The latter introduced himself to me while I was wearing my headset - how rude and persistent, huh-, asked about my job and salary (Rude, I didn't answer the salary part), and he assumed that my salary was lower than the young geologist's (RUDE!). I was so not impressed by these rich mining people on my plane. He summed up the life of mining company workers: work in remote area, save the money, go to the city, marry the young and beautiful woman (perempuan baik-baik, he literally said), nabung beli rumah, beli mobil, tinggalin anak istri sebulan dua kali ke daerah, pile up more money, give international education for the kids, of course before that buy Porsche baby stroller or The Silver Cross Balmoral Pram for the twins. Basically, this is the new middle class in Indonesia, you can be educated and rich enough, in the meantime being consumptive and being snob about what you do. This may be a behavior generalization, maybe I was just upset how these companies did not do anything (yet) and encourage the government to build more roads and increase the local area's quality. My lil brother studies Geology, he surely will have lots of briefing from me before he launches his oil company snobbish attitude next year. 

*I am currently sipping my 20 ml, Rp. 30.000,00 espresso shot with a dallop of frothed milk on top

She's got the sponsors (magnum ice cream included), she's got the cast (Rio Dewanto, Edward Gunawan... yummers), got pretty cinematography as well, but she didn't write the script well. I got it that Arisan strived for LGBTQ movement, open-mindedness, and in Arisan 2 they stretched it into spirituality (vs religion). I understood that they wanted to show the upper class liberal, intellectual thought. But, Nia Dinata wrapped it in a speech-like, oratorial, non subtle way, I found it difficult to differentiate between what they called "movie" with FPI demos on Q! Film Festival. Because when art is also preachy, why shouldn't I go to Sunday mass instead? Or to upacara bendera? 

Btw, although Edward Gunawan (who is also a screenwriter in real life) was not convincing enough playing as a straight guy, you really should check out his short movie, "Just". The movie is written and produced by himself. I think the movie is just beautiful :)

grrrl

Girls | FOR NO ONE from FOR NO ONE on Vimeo.
See Hannah Hunt with her unworldly beauty in this Girls' video, Honey Bunny. Also, in Ryan lynch's side project, Dominant Legs. "Grrrl" playlist on my iPod