Thursday, April 10, 2008

wrong entertainment



I just moved to a new kosan
I added more stuff than the one I had when I was in college
But still, I don’t bring tivo
So I bought two magazines yesterday
One of them was girlfriend Indonesia
Instead of making me delightful to see full colored pages, this magazine made me think even more for the un-edited stuffs. (Tons of stuffs!) that they had.

Just that
I just hate it when a published magazine can have the same mistakes as my unpublished works.

insensitive indonesian

Boss (B): If Americans come here to see how average Indonesians live, they will be very thankful fo their condition now, about how they live now.

Me (M): Who are average Indonesians?

B: would you look at that food vendors or people who own small restaurants?

M: Oh, you’ll be shocked that they actually have a lot of money. Some of them even could pay for their children college fee abroad or they have big houses in their kampong

B: Well, look like a rich Indonesian talking to me. Just like my girlfriend when she said that it was always too much when I tip people at restaurants

B: So, what do you think as an averagely very fine salary for Indonesian?

M: 5 thousand bucks a month,at least. somebody pretty important in oil and gas company or somebody who has a very popular restaurant kiosks

B: So you think 5,000 bucks a month can get you to study abroad? (with a redden face)

M: Don’t blame me. That’s what happened in Indonesia, they may look filthy, but the have money.

(I really wanna show the boss some pictures of Soto Bangkong pundits or Sate Babi pundits, or even some meatball sellers on the street, and how damn rich they really are!)
I didn’t say all. Just some.

impression

Impression is very important
I spent three days this week to go to gym
To exercise
And practicing my hip hop, swing latin, and yaga-ing move
Also to hear criticism
That I have 70 percent body fat
Upon which I don’t really care
Hihi
Because I am still healthy
I just try to eat more fruit
Because I don’t like veggie
Did I do all of that for impression?
Yes
Did I do all of that for myself?
Absolutedamnlutely.
I am happy doing that
When I am in a dance class
I lose the track of time
Side effect?
Thinner, maybe.
But love the sense of losing track of time even more
Just me. And the dance floor, and…
The instructor, of course.

Impression is very important
Yesterday
I dragged my feet to the haphazard of way-beyond-my-budget hip stores at bundaran senayan
Well, I got lucky eventually
I found a hazy white stripped black patent zara suit
Exactly the suit I had in my mind
Went for 399.900 a piece
Flair investment (for a year ha ha!)
So, I bought the suit
Because the day after I had to go to an important meeting
With a national agency
After all night and day activities
Which are preparing myself for a nice impression
(for the national agent, and for my boss)
I got a meeting cancellation right half an hour before the meeting.
Typical.
So I wore my lavishly new suit
Sitting in a car
With two very important bosses
And a driver
Rode back to the central of Jakarta
At 7.30 a.m
For two and a half hour.
Well, was I upset?
A bit
I bought a new suit, for Moses sake
But I enjoyed having a conversation with them
And I enjoyed my new suit
It was just
So beautiful and firm
And I look instantly sophisticated in that

So, does impression matter?
Yes
But I do that to impress
myself.

Monday, March 31, 2008

when packaging means more than the meat


In the midst of every hussle and approaches to watch Ayat-Ayat Cinta, then many assumptions are also being drawn, from the finest movie that does not include horror and sex, movie that endorse polygamy, into the movie which makes our Vice President came to watch it at Plaza Senayan and our President watched it at EX, (and couldn’t stop his tears from running).

I have my own stray of thought. I would see Ayat –Ayat Cinta (AAC)as a Halal movie to be seen. People see AAC not for the sake of seeing an Islamic religious movie. But, they come to see a love movie. I think, the package, which is a poster of very beautiful eyes from a face covered with burqa, being looked over by a man, over a fully barenaked-make up-ed face of a Christian woman who eventually converted to Islam, just adding the attraction why most of the people watch it.

This way, old couples do not need to see a love movie with additions of kissing scenes in 3 Hari untuk Selamanya, or without being worry that the husbands would look over the beautiful actresses in Otomatis Romantis, and make the actresses the star of their masturbation sessions. Do not need to see and overtly vaguely romantic imagination in Ada Apa Dengan Cinta, or in Ungu Violet. Or seeing a non-subtle, sharp, and witty dialogue in Monty Tiwa’s and Nia Dinata’s movies.

Seeing this, we could see that people are longing for something that is nearest to themselves: religion. Thus, eventhough the places where the stories happen were so far away: Turkey, India, places with desert, people still identify themselves most to this: religion, cross over their identities as a woman, a man, as an Indonesian, as an Indonesian living in pluralistic country. People need to see people in the movie saying assalamualaikum, saying thank you in Arabic, wearing burqa, do five time players. People want to see themselves. People want to be acknowledged.

That is why, although AAC does not come thickly with religion issue, such as The Passion of the Christ --it was a romantic movie, a drama movie, to be exact, a pop movie. Religion was just made into the backgrounds.—people come see the movie because the background makes the movie become Halal and it makes people who identify themselves to the movie being acknowledged.

And, we have to admit that acknowledgement towards Islam just happened recently in global world. But, isn’t it funny that we oversize this acknowledgement in Indonesia nowadays instead the fact that Islam has always been the majority of the population? Hence, the majority of culture?

From what I can understand, it shows how our people also try to make it global. They are bolding this acknowledgement for the sake of their bandhood of brothers and sisters outside this country (Indonesia).

The problem occurs when the meat of the movie (polygamy, convert, naïve and not that good looking guy, desperate women who want to be with him) was considered as not Halal by some people. It becomes a bigger problem because the meat connected highly to its packaging: Islam. While some people are still debating the meat of the movie, still AAC is not a sterile tool to declare that that kind of Islam which could be acknowledged by larger populations.

P.S: But, we cannot deny that we all cry during a romantic movie (based on our definition of what is romantic, and now we could see clearly what SBY’s definition is).

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

my first kar wai movie



I’d never watched Wong Kar Wai’s movie before. What I know was, nearly all of my past gebetans liked his work. One day, I picked a DVD and bought it just because there was Jude Law on the cover and it’s dominated by purple color. The title was “My Blueberry Nights”, apparently by Wong Kar Wai. Very exiciting. Wong Kar Wai was meticulously detail, artsy, not to mention the addition of jazzy nighty diner songs, and great story flow. The story was mainly about how Lizzie (Norah Jones) redeemed her broken heart, the flow made the same old theme seemingly different and deeper. And, as other festival movies, the acting of the actor/actress was absolutedamnly great, including Norah Jones! Could you believe it? The shy girl acted! Moreover, Rachel Weisz and Natalie Portman practiced their southern accent with trashy dresses. Hehe. Very interesting. Another definition of romantic drama/comedy.

Monday, March 10, 2008

slowly cured

My life had been a parade of miseries as consequences of my choices. However, lately i redeemed those and started to have a nice feeling.

Lately, I was glad for several things:

1.I finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird, a very soothing book

2.I enjoyed re-running my Sex and the City collection

2.I enjoyed my work, in which interpreting, in which teaching simultaneously the police in Police Language School, Cipinang (no, not the jail). We had nice, smart, open minded students without their usual sex jokes

3.The students gave me a nice batik shawl, a bag, and a card. Usually, the students from previous iteration only gave something to my opa opa boss. But now, they took me into consideration. Something about the gift is that it is nice to be appreciated sometimes. =)

4.That late night when bf and me got a warning from a police, “ mas mbak, tolong jangan lama-lama di sini. Gak enak diliat orang…

5.Seeing my college friends on Nandia’s last day being 22 year old. Damn you girl, so freakin’ young.

6.Memmy’s gift, wrapped in a specially printed wrapper with my picture and hers on it.

beautiful men

It was all started with Sandra Dewi.

Yes… the well-known seemingly looks like Dian Sastro new artiste bumped into me in Plaza Senayan restroom (just like Henidar Amroe, I bumped into her in Grand Kemang restroom). She was tall, long haired, with perfect hair down to the waist. So, after I was done, I told my bf that Sandra Dewi was in the restroom and you might want to check on her. (I told this because I know that one of the hottest topics in his karang taruna drinking and drunk club was buying FHM with Sandra Dewi on the cover).

After a while, in which 30 seconds, she hadn’t come outside, so I leaned on bf’s hand to go away from the in front hall of the restroom. And he did not want to move. Then, what happened next was a series of dragging and herding him around, only with no result. He insisted to see Sandra Dewi. So, I told him that he was way so desperate, and I left him to go to Coffee Bean, then to Metro.

I was irritated by his childish act. Then, as usual, after few argumentations (shortly after he looked for me), he said, “I have the full right to see whoever beautiful persons in front of me, no matter if they are a woman, a guy, a gay, whoever. And I ensure you the same right to do so,” he said.

Okay then, from that point that day, I did not fix my eyes on his ever. I looked for beautiful scenery in front of me. Miserably, what I found that no men were that beautiful. It is not fair. The comparison for beautiful women and beautiful men around was 75 to 15. If you pay attention carefully, there were so little beautiful, handsome, hunky men in Jakarta.

The best that I could find were men who were not afraid to speak for their personalities, men with mickey mouse t-shirt, men with shorts, t-shirt, and sneakers who bring plastic bag from grocery stores. Those men are interesting. But the rest, men are afraid to express themselves in their physical appearances. And, most men are ugly.

However, I’ll buy men with nice torso and ass. And terribly speaking, there were very few of them as well.

So, I said to bf, it is not about the right, but what can I do with my right. Apparently, it was less than what you can do. So, I think it’s not fair.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

quit

So, I quit.
Literally quit from the consultant office.
Things that outraged me that rationalized me to quit:

1.A dialogue in P.S. I Love You:

“ I don’t like my job”
“Why?”
“I don’t like to work for idiots, so what should I do?”
“So, quit”
(I did not think that I work for some total idiots, but the sentence, “so, quit” made me realize that it is my free decision to quit. It’s not like I am responsible fully, and when I quit all clients will be gone. And it’s not like I’ll be insane too if I quit

2.My consultant office was like a never-ending tilted threads of work process, of new things, and abundantly full with surprises, and with unpredictable unnecessary ethics and politics. The office got a potential to develop but, tell me that I am lame, but I can’t stand an unclear process and un even playing field for competition

3.I did not get contract for my work there. Get to be a law-literate person. I have to appreciate myself

4.Too frequent time seeing your boyfriend for the whole week can make relationship sour

Now, I work for a while as a translator an interpreter in an NGO. But, then, until the while is gone…
What should I be doing?
Let’s figure out soon.

(pfuih!)

Sunday, December 16, 2007

december thought



Mesmerized by last year’s jiffest, well I continued this tradition this year. This year’s jiffest was relatively less festive and less energetic than the year before. The experience of watching movie, however, was also the experience of identifying yourself with the audience in the studio. Do you have the same interest with other people there? Or they are usually your opponent, who watch the movie just to mock every juicy lines from it.

So, actually, I think watching movies in a festival is one way of searching for the people who can be ninety percent interesting for you, packed in one room. So, if you’d been really talking and conversing, you will find some good potential friends and also, boyfriends/girlfriends. Don’t you think?

So, the remarkable movies I watched were Vitus, La Vie En Rose slash La Mome,
Shut Up and Sing, Hang Tuah, and The Conductors (today I’m on my way to see Afghan Muscles and the US vs John Lennon).

I applauded Vitus for the convenient and relaxing feeling I get.
La Vie En Rose for the tears, thrilled, and proud feeling of a woman, and also Marion’s outstanding act as Edith Piaf.
Hang Tuah for its originality and impeccably, its romanticism is now a big round of joke and senseless long sentences for today’s youth. Still, mocking each nuanced sentence in the movie is some of the best entertainment.
Shut Up and Sing was very lively, energetic, kept your heart in rhyme from the beginning till the end of the movie.
And my best movie was, The Conductors. It shivered me, very inspiring, move your feeling on nationalism, art, and culture, no matter your economic status is.

(I recommend The Conductors, Paduan Suara Anak2 baru UI di Balairung dijadiin dokumenter loh di film ini, lengkap pake in depth interview sama Pak Dibyo. Two other characters are Addie MS ama Yuli--the conductor of AREMA-- Top Abis!)

Moreover, the best part was that The Conductors reminded me for not to be a materialistic part of the country’s development. So, I just lost my handphoneS, new 1 gb memory stick, new memory card, and new glasses on the same day at different times. Now I am ensured more that materials don’t give any fulfillment for me. Now, I’m thinking on spending my money on something un-materialistic. A pretty good new attitude to inspire next year’s resolution, huh?

Btw, Merry Christmas y’all!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

jealousy

It comes when you’ve got nothing to do and try to make some betterment out of yourself, looking for a benchmark, and end up mystifying how better other persons are.
It comes when you see other people get more attention, but you feel that they don’t deserve it. The other way around, if you bow for their capabilities and qualities, it’s not jealousy. It’s respect. Jealousy goes to people who actually don’t deserve it.
So, when you feel jealous, the best way to redeem it is to make a mental note that you are way so much better than him, her, or them, fella!


Or, find some fun class, such as belly dance or R n B, or latin dances. =)

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

convert

It was Sunday
And my Dad was sitting in the living room watching a DVD about a testimonial of a converted Moslem. He converted to Catholicism. And he did a sole-person speech for about two hours. Wow. He said that Quran stated stories about Jesus and Christianity in 75 percent of the Holy Book, and Quran only stated 25 percents knowledge about Muhammad and Islam, so he said, “Why should I believe in Islam if it tells kindness of another religion, namely Christianity, and Muhammad is one of Jesus’ follower?”. On the contrary, once I wandered around a music store and saw a DVD about how actually Bible was actually about Muhammad and Islam, and how Jesus was just the follower of Muhammad. Hmm.

He had beard, and really proficient in mentioning phrases from Quran. No wonder, since he had been an Ulama in most of his life. Moreover, he once had been trained in Afghanistan to became a terrorist. He said that he became Catholic because he was reached by Jesus. Jesus spoke to him. Just like the story how Dian Sastro got a Hidayah. God touched them. Spoke to them. Convinced them. To convert.

So, in Ramadhan we often see people who converted from Christianity to Islam. Same case, in Sunday sessions we see people who converted from Islam to Christianity. Bear in mind that we rarely see people who convert from and to other religions in Indonesia namely Buddhism, Hinduism, and Kong Hu Cu, we always see that they really uphold these converted people.

Indirectly, they are saying: “Look at these righteous people who had chosen the right path to heaven”. Bolder more: “Other religions are wrong and my religion is the pious one. We have to learn from these converted people. They did that, so why don’t you”. And in most of the testimonials, we often see these converted people say stating some comparison, such as: “My religion now is better than my religion then”, not a humble testimonial such as, “This is the most suitable path FOR ME. I don’t know if that would be suitable for the others”.

So, digging it more, don’t you think that people in the reformation era nowadays could state their blasphemy easier and merrier than before?

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

the cast

When you decided something and the people around you refused or irritated by your decision, just take them only as casts in your movie. When somebody snappy and think-that-s/he-knows-all stabbed you with over-intellectual way of talking, also make them as the cast. Because, basically, other people are just the cast in your life. You are the one who is determining your own life and who as who.

Monday, September 24, 2007

intro

why we need to identify when we are all pulsated in a destined time and place, moving around a big bulk concentrated mass of star. Or rather we want to be the Hawking radiation, escape from the vanishing monotonous stirred milky way, stretch the destined time and place so that it’s relative. That, I agree.

Ov.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

sweetness

I spent five weeks not in my consultant office. So, for those who know that I am in the same office with my boyfriend, well, I was not for the past four weeks already. That means I only had time to meet him at weekends, just like other normal couples. And I found it weird. Usually we spent about twelve hours a day, but now we only had six hours a week. So, the urge to book one unit at Cosmopolitan tower in kemang village arose. humph. Feel a bit clingy huh?

This wass added by the fact that this month is the fasting month. It means that you are not able to do anything intentionally arousing during noon. So, the past weeks had been spent with layer per layer of patience. And I think I handled it well. I handled the syahwat management well, but not the anger management one.

Look how silly and shallow I am (and yes, it is not only sisie who asked his boyfriend about rescuing her in tsunami, becoz in fact, my bf will save his motorcycle first before me should a fire happens. His motorcycle’s name is domba, anyway). Okay: the silly thing I did: arguing over some silly facts or existence, namely: friendster.

It was started with me saying: how come I am not in your featured friends column? Why do I see these white, slim, big boobs Chinese chicks on your featured friends. And, ladies, don’t forget the “huh?!!” at the end of the sentence.
Then he replied, like I put you on my featured friends for several months. But what did you do? Have you ever put me in your featured friends? I guess, you considered the featured friends are not important. So, I didn’t put you in mine anymore. (and yes, I never put his on mine either).

Yes, but still jealousy is still jealousy, although I had no clear argument for that. So, I said to him that perhaps my ramblings were just because I got my period. And he could understand. See, how fun and easy it is to be woman who accept stereotype from the society.

It’s not over yet. Then, we fought about how he wanted me to lose 15 more kgs. And I bet y’all know how scrumptious and impetuous the war that happened between me and him. I called him shallow and he called me insecure. Fair enough. Blatant enough. Catfights!

However, somehow, we also settled the matter down. And, what’s left of this week is sweetness. Sometimes, it is very nice to feel that you have a privilege. Well, I had the privilege to accompany him going through this fasting month. And it’s sweet. Or to spend a whole evening on Jakarta free car day and looking for some little dogs to buy, I totally found it sweet.

Hmmm…I guess somebody is becoming more lame and more lame and more lame here….

effected

Several signs that I AM a pseudo-feminist:

Prelude: I’ve never said that I am a feminist, however, all students in my college learned feminism. And most of them agreed (although only 0.00001%) that women should have their position equally with men in the society, by any definition of course. The more far I get from the time I studied it, the more I am convinced that I am a pseudo-feminist (as jame and sisie said). And it is irritating.

Several signs that I AM a pseudo-feminist:

1.I didn’t cut my hair short. This is the longest hair I’ve ever had. Just because my boyfriend wanted it so.

2.I didn’t protested when several police (whom my agency gave training for) teased me they want to handcuff me. I just gave them a shy smile. Just because I want them to be pleased.

3.I was the one who cleaned up the dishes after me and my boyfriend had lunch. Just because I wanna be seen as a complete woman in front of the society (read: his father and mother)

I think those explain.

Hiks. So, wanna publish Postmopolitan, guys? =)

Monday, August 13, 2007

august 3

My birthday has always been the announcement day of SPMB, August 3rd. I considered getting into English literature UI as a gift on my 17th birthday back then. I hope the same day may give you the same gift as in getting into some favorite universities. Hohoho. Enjoy your college days, young people.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

korintus

Kasih itu sabar
Kasih itu murah hati
Ia tidak cemburu
Ia tidak meneguhkan diri dan tidak sombong
Ia tidak melakukan yang tak sopan dan mencari keuntungan sendiri
Ia tidak pemarah dan tidak menyimpan kesalahan orang lain
Ia tidak bersuka cita karena ketidakadilan,
tetapi karena kebenaran
Ia menutupi segala sesuatu,
percaya segala sesuatu
mengharapkan segala sesuatu
sabar menanggung segala sesuatu

kasih tidak berkesudahan
nubuat akan berakhir
bahasa roh akan berhenti
pengetahuan akan lenyap

demikianlah, tinggal ketiga hal ini,
yaitu iman, pengharapan dan kasih
dan yang paling besar di antaranya adalah
kasih.

apple rep



I went to this pious consultant firm, where the husband of my lovely professor works. It has a splendid interior, feels like you are going to a club next to some beach instead of to a forty something story building. It has a fully-white glossy furniture, with blue shade of raylight and green palms. The great things are: one, from its penthouse-like rear window, you can see the complete map of Gelora Bung Karno and Senayan, complete with its green map and parliament building. It’s quite neat from the 20th floor up there. Secondly, the common OS of the office is Mac, as well as their common desktops. Oh my my…
The things going in my mind is that: they can be a much better representative of Mac and Apple than… me.

Yes. Anywhere I go, everybody is like always saying,”hmm..how incompatible Mac is with other OSs.”
I believe that it IS compatible. Since, hello??, I use Microsoft office to work the documents. It’s a core-duo technology, pipol. However, everywhere I go, I make apple seems worthless and there you go..what’s the word?...incompatible.
Should I feel sorry for harming the cult of apple? It feels like a Moslem who does not do five time prayers or eat pork.

Whatever.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

cold



Walking in between cold asphalt of a large road
Contesting the stars that are not even seen
You find yourself hug your soul
Your midnight mood drip
In between warm houses you pass
Imagine the family inside
Roasting some turkey
Or baking some cookie
Contrasting it with the coldness
Add some atmosphere
Walking down the street alone
Ignoring people are around, usually you find it quite jamming
But meanwhile you’re there alone, you find it quite satisfying
Your sadness is buried in a dark vision
Nobody can see
That’s perfect
Being outside without being seen
You are down
Feel the air feel the thickness of the air
Lonely as it may be
You are fit in to the situation

Monday, June 11, 2007

simply



I like the orange best, bumbi… 


We went to Kinokuniya Seibu yesterday. I needed to buy some small, handy, light, well-flowing book as Paulo Cuelhos, I then picked “To Kill a Mockingbird”. Well. I didn’t know yet about the well-flowing words, but for sure it’s light and cheap, hohoho. Not to mention, it’s once said as a pivotal book of the century. So I think, it’s very nice to have something important in my bag within my unimportant days and activities.

Then, after I paid for two magazines and an important book, I went over looking for bumbi. He’s swarming in between comics, history, architecture, and design books. Then he opened a book about Design Anatomy. It shows various of concepts or late designs used to build a brand new design. Then we stopped at Absolut Vodka advertisements. There are six ads, orange, currant, lime, and six other flavors that I don’t recall (am not a huge fan of vodka). The ads are filled with details like you find on Sherina’s and Gita Gutawa’s album covers. Flowery flowing lines.

Then, he asked, “Which one do you like best?, I like this one best (he pointed at the Vodka Curant ad dominates with purple background”

I said, “Okay, based on the detailed pictures in the ad, I like this one (I pointed at an ad dominated with cherish color: it shows an abstract view of new York’s Madison Avenue with its huge billboards), but based on the surreal and whole concept, I like the orange one. Then, based on the sophistication I like the black silver one.

He then said, “I just asked you to choose the best, that simple. You only have to pick one.”

“I can’t. The best can be seen by various categories,” I pleaded

“You’re so complicated. Now, pick one. I’m here to teach you how to be simple.”

After a five minute pause, I said, “Hmmm…I like the orange one best.”

“See? That easy. Don’t weight yourself with complications, unnecessary questions, and considerations. It burdens you and would not be comprehended well by other people.”

I still think that the best can be still seen from various aspects (me and the postmo ego) and bumbi’s there to teach me to be simple. I’m trying both paths now.

I let him in to teach me.

Picture from Getty Images