I like my rogue allure velvet fading through the day

From color block to reddish stain

I like it the best at the end of the day

It’s saturating bold not a pinkish plain

Dry flowers gleaming glory

It darkens, their petals crispy

They don’t come as mild

Agile, then give in to the wild

Their fragility blooms

In gory colored flakes

Their youth is not born

It protrudes

from brightness that fades

Few days ago I bumped into my ex-student. She had graduated from college, then I asked her, what did she do. She was working for a drug company, researching for the cure for cancer. Then, she asked me back. I said, I was working for this organization in which Sri Mulyani was the Managing Director. She frowned and asked, "Who's Sri Mulyani?".

If that had happened during our debating class, she would've been given plenty of homeworks. But considering what she did for a living, somehow general knowledge was no longer significant.

Androgynous Clothing

Whiteboard interview with Yvan Rodic

W :

Having traveled and observed so many places, could you explain what you see as the connection between the environment people live in and the way they dress?

Y :

Sure. Well beyond any trends, there is a deeper factor that expresses the culture. An extreme example would be Scandinavia and Latin America. In Scandinavia, the culture is a very equal society, so you would have women who earn as much as men; they have high positions; they’re in the government; they’re emancipated, etc. It translates into fashion that isn’t sexualized. It’s very common to have an androgynous type of fashion. For example, brands like Acne – most of the stuff they sell is almost possible for both girls and guys to wear it. Scandinavian fashion has this big thing where people want to look good, but they won’t necessarily show a lot of cleavage, be too sexy and so on. Fashion is an extension and expression of culture.

What I Remember

Opulent eggshell door, beige leather seats,

striped strap with small black pen blotch

Two Nici stuffed animals, a sheep and a squirrel

Grey and white squirrel with fair smooth tail.

Bought one in Munich or Frankfurt initially for my luggage

As many trinkets were snatched in the conveyor belt,

I put it in your car instead.

No, it was your late mom’s.

The storage and what’s inside.

Some documents, sunglasses and a pack of envelopes

See, you were on that age to receive wedding invitations

Should be ready with envelopes

You crafted your own cable connector from the radio to iPod

You picked purple

Because I liked purple

And how you were annoyed everytime I used the mirror behind the sun shade

The garage, connected to the kitchen.

Where the plates, knives, glasses were

One crooked glass with dregs stain

The bar, drugs, your late mom’s keys collection

Photos of your nephews, nieces in collages

Toddler mat

All in the dining room.

Wind chimes

Your big screen TV because you loved TV. And big screen

Carpet and cushions

Wooden lounging chair

Broken organ

Family portrait

Beige sofas

The rooms

I remember too much

Your cats, I still have her colorful necklace

How she snuggled to me

Balinese blue mirror from Sukowati from our trip together on the outside

Graduation pictures

Manicured garden

It was gloomy, unattended, yet homey

It was refurbished, clean, yet abandoned

It moved with the age but stopped somewhere

Coexistence between past and progress

And where it stopped with mid flair

Revisited as weekend gathering

Secluded.

Perhaps those were the reasons.

My picture on the wall though

As vivid as

what I remember

as there is no outlet...

...let me just thank SORE Band for launching their new song today, which I could totally relate to. This is one sassy catchy song from the band and the lyrics are good too.

She and Him's Volume 3, similar sentiment:

excuse the cheesiness

Happiness they say is a circle flow

Depend it on no one else I know

but your charm rushed like melted snow

and it’s a joy,

coy, to resist a peck on your morning jaw

I wanna put Oliver Peoples on you

and pocket square too

The past year, I’ve been on a wayfarer

When it’s off, we’re farther

Space is good I know

Yet I wanna draw you closer and put on a show

The Big O

Sixth of March 2013,
11:54
Six minutes before 00:00
With Coltrane power and previously charged by Birth of the Cool,

Let the wait begin

Cigarette

After seeing the movie Flight, I really want to know who sponsor lobbies, studies, and documentaries on the no-smoking campaign. Soda companies? Processed food companies that use lots of MSG?
Funny happenstance, I am currently reading Ratih Kumala's Gadis Kretek, fiction with Indonesian kretek cigarette history as the background.

One Out of Two

I’m Caffeinated

I drank half of grande white chocolate mocha coffee tonight. One and a half pump of syrup, no whip at 6 PM. I knew I couldn’t finish the whole thing, no point in upgrading with my credit card perks. I knew I would be jittery. The last time I had black Mandailing coffee, I stayed up until 3 AM giggling with Astrid while watching a dog show on the telly. From the show I knew that dogs’ purpose in this life is recorded in their DNA and it doesn’t saturate by time. For example, a hunter dog will always be a hunter dog, they’ll be stressed out if you don’t take them run and hunt for something. Poor dog, what if they want to do something different than their predecessor? 

Back to coffee, I am not really a coffee drinker. I am all tea, TWG grand wedding, gorgeous geisha T2 Tea, sari wangi, teh poci. I am very careful with coffee because it does extreme things to me such as wakes me up for 6 hours or more. Besides, drinking coffee is like equipping yourself for boring things ahead. You know you won’t be able to stand the day so you imbibe coffee. You know some show or movie will make you sleepy, you chug on your coffee. It is like you are positive that the future is negative. And I think that what I did today. 

The plan was to see this free-of-charge dance showcase, Fire!Fire!Fire!, a contemporary interpretation of Ramayana tale. Remember, Sinta had to walk through the fire to prove her loyalty and virginity to Rama. But this one was contemporary, so it was clear that they would deconstruct some meaning. This one was contemporary, it was clear I would be clueless. When the time was eighteen hundred, I waited in line for my coffee. Sipped it a bit at the outlet than hailed a cab half an hour later to Gedung Kesenian Jakarta. There in the lobby, I sipped it more until I was sure I had enough defense for the show. 

Then the premonition manifested. Their first piece definitely needed a caffeine shot through an eye. But then the second and third piece from Thailand and Indonesia respectively were awesome. They blurred the line between male and female by putting them in uniform. All white long dress for the Thai piece and lurik fabric for the Indonesian group. Instead of showing royal, kingdom notes on the costumes and make up, they made it proletarian-like. Instead of burning a female Sinta, they were all “burnt” in “fire”, females and males. Looked like an orgy for commoners. Perfect example for Baudillard's "Transparency of Evil" with fluid sexuality, uniformed vision, beyond good and bad and all. The dancers showed beautiful body control plus loads of lean muscle. Let me emphasize on beautiful bodies. I liked the Solo Dance studio pack, especially the guy whose body resembled Jesus on the cross (only leaner) with tat on his back. 

The dance was like a trance, helped me to devour the moment, live in the present, and went I DON’T CARE for my troubles. It was sensual, strong, promised me blossoms and bliss. I’m glad I came to the show. I had never thought I’d enjoy contemporary dance, excited, and blog about it. Now (time is 2 AM), was it the spectacle or was it the coffee? 

Excerpt from Q&A:

Audience: “How do the audience grasp the meaning you try to convey?”
Choreographer1: “You don’t need to understand everything, you just need to enjoy it.” Choreographer2: “Yes, and this is a free show, you don’t lose any dime if you don’t understand it.”

Like

:)

The option was either to feel hurt or funny or just roll a coolitude on it, only a speckle of event in life. I chose the last one. So, my close friend since elementary school said I couldn't be her maid of honor because at the time she made her decision, my boyfriend (at that time) was not a Christian neither Catholic. This (inter-religion relationship), said she, would not give a correct example. Example for whom, I didn't know. Being exempted from MOH duty was such a release. Listening to the reason was like...seriously? 

Still can't sleep. Reminiscing Matah Ati especially the finale Act 17, their way to "censor" was not by dropping black curtain on the stage or making the stage unlit. Instead, they made the stage brighter, adding more light to it. Government could use this philosophy, don't you think? :)

Garance's latest post is about shopping at Zara. This reminds me, Zara once saved my skin. Suatu saat, sekitar abis lulus kuliah, abis ujan, gw naik ojek, pake jaket dari toko tersebut. Si abang ga liat polisi tidur, terpentalah gw dari ojek ke tanah ya sodara-sodara, lalu terseretlah gw beberapa meter di atas aspal berbatu-batu yang harusnya makin tajam karena abis ujan tanpa si abang menyadarinya. Tangan gw satu pegangan ke bagian belakang motor, badan posisi side plank. Saat gw berdiri lagi, jaket  gw itu cuma kotor, tidak sobek, dan kulit tangan gw tidak tergores sedikitpun. Bahan memang tidak bohong. Dan ya, gw sangat suka jaket-jaketnya walaupun di sini cuma bisa dipake saat sakit yaaa seperti hari ini.

Dystopian Nap

The best nap I've had my whole life is on Gili T beach only to be waken up by some drizzle. One of the strongest naps, I just had it today after one panadol and cough med. So here I am staring at my laptop only because my iPod is charging. Then I thought about evolution. They always tell us about survival of the fittest which extensively means the success rate of your gene continuation to another generation by first misleading the opposite sex. However, with limited resources, water, and worse climate I think it wise to change the definition of success rate related to evolution. It shouldn't be about filling up the world with your descendants rather, we should think what is it the best for the earth. Maybe less people so there will be less people fight over gas and other minerals? Because clearly with shortages of energy, I can't handle the thought of delivering people into this world without being sure that they'll be okay and they'll get enough and be happy. Being a parent would be the most difficult job.  

Green and Red

With my lack of cosmetics or wave or color knowledge, I found it imperceptible that red and green naturalize each other. Funny enough, this random information came back to back in less than one month. It was all started with this:

1. Michelle Phan using mint green color stick concealer to counteract redness. Yep."As you guys know, green and red are complementary colors, they neutralize each other out." Whaa? I did not know that, Michelle! 

2. Then, I decided to think less about make up, giving days like this a break and slouched on my bed reading Middlesex. Just when you thought hermaphrodite epic poetry (Calliope) with her twentieth century america wouldn't touch cosmetics issue....then came page 351 when Callie went to Sophie Sasson's saloon to have a "Waxing Lyrical", Sasson needed one hour and forty five minutes every morning to fix her face, and below is just a small portion of it:

"She had to apply eye creams and under-eye creams. She had to lay down various layers, like shellacking a Stardivarius. In addition to the brick-colored final coat there were others: dabs of green to control redness, pinks to add blush, blues above the eyes."

3. When the zeal to finish Middlesex is at the peak, I forgot to bring the book meanwhile I had to wait for somebody. My genius swift acumen swiveled me to a bookstore nearby to buy some book I'd laid my eyes upon merely because of its cute cover, Ayu Utami's "Lalita". Behold, red and green didn't escape me. At the back of the book there's this instruction to stare at a green three-petal form, arranged in a peace symbol with yellow rim. If you stare in several second then you shift your eyes to a white object, then look at that three-petal form again, you'll see pink scintillant hue. This is because green and red are "contraries" but not "oppositions".

So, that's some new knowledge, properly brought to me before christmas :)

the wait is killing me.

Siapa?

Malam-malam ini ya...ceritanya two broke girls in an apartment, tanggal tua, gas habis, mie instan ga bisa dimasak, tinggal gerogotin flax seed, kiwi, youghurt strawberry, diserut-serut campur dalam gelas bening, serupa parfait. Ngabisin T2 tea gorgeous geisha, mengais-ngais dari zaman keemasan masa awal bulan. Untung gadis yang satu cukup inisiatif beli nasi warteg di bawah, dibagi dualah nasi bungkus ieu nya, pleus sisa-sisa kerupuk melempem. Yang satu pake rok pendek turquoise yang satu pake celana tidur, atasannya sama-sama kaos hitam. Ngomongin pergolakan negeri hari itu, biar ga basi-basi amat.

There is nothing attractive about negativity and constant complaints. Highlighting one's sorrow for display is offensive for people since they have problems too. Problems which they hide, try to solve, or out of politeness, they won't let you affected by it. Complaining also belittles the weight of others' burden. The worst kind of complaint is if you knew that would be the consequences but you chose that path anyway. We are all trying to live here, at least in civil ways. Put your negativity and complaints into a black hole, enjoy every moment, and spread positivity. 

Because...

...who would have made tone-less sighs as backing vocal better than THE initial BB?


Brigitte Bardot and Serge Gainsbourg - "Je t'aime moi non Plus": the ultimate sighing/whispering-only style song, BB opened the way for Lana Del Rey.